ürd

board certified armchair psychologist

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

We may be seeing an inverse American goes to Europe and comes back healthier in the coming months thanks to the World Cup in the US

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Me personally, being played like a fiddle sounds great! Must be like the boy from Georgia who beat satan tho

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Once again woke up from my dream where I’m in a Japanese game show and woke up right before their bit about AMERICAN IMPERIALISM SIMULATOR…

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Treating my nicotine addiction like I’m rotating my crops… well I quit smoking, to use zyn… well i quit zynning, to vape… well i quit vaping, to smoke cigarettes -unknown author

[The Water Museum @WaterMuseum_]

The first fishing game where you can actually skip your lure

[Jimmy King @Jimmyking35]

Someone is flying around City Hall tail whipping in a little buggy to Olivia Dean’s ‘Man I Need’. Philadelphia is the best city in the world and you can’t convince me otherwise

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

This world is a bleak bleak bleak space… (logged back into twitter and all my old drafts are gone)

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

“I’m beginning to realize I’m an alcoholic… I mean it tastes good! I mean hell it doesn’t taste good, but it makes me feel yummy!”Proceeds to make woodland fairy noises after -unknown author

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

You know what could be the move… making a funeral playlist -unknown author “you gottta make a playlist for when ya die!”

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Is onlyfans the closest we’ve got to laissez-faire capitalism in quite some time 🤔

[R CamposS @RCS_37]

PORQUE OZZY OSBOURNE Y NO HULK HOGAN 😭😭

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Drunkenly pontificating to my roommates hound from hell about how I feel like his plight of being a working breed, unable to live out his truth, isn’t so dissimilar to how many humans share the same truth… or a lack thereof

[Alec @surialaw]

Being drunk and realizing I can walk half a block to a basketball court

[Mike @db9mike]

If I was president I’d close our national deficit by selling advertising packages to big tobacco companies.

Marlboro stealth bomber, the U.S.S NEWPORT, etc.

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Weekend plans…
Chief a spliff after drinking a 40 in the Publix parking lot, only to go crazy style in the meat and cheese aisle…

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Was recently told I look like someone who sounds like they smoke a pack of Marlboros daily

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

I don’t think I’m doing anything of substance today, instead I’m only doing substances

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Drinking and smoking take up so much of my time, so how am I supposed to make time for something else?!?!?

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

CIGS FOR FINALS WEEK!!! Sponsored by: COINSTAR

[ürd @P_H_D_X]

Got a virus on my computer from cranking it too much… call that a virtual STD