Pain Machine

Intensitive.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

As conditionals go, “If we don’t win CCL, we make the playoffs” isn’t bad.

Better than “If I happen to make consistent calls, I’m still making incompetent ones”.

So at least we’ve got that up on PRO.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Eternal Green tweet

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Say you haven’t been watching PRO’s handling of Sounders this year without saying you haven’t been watching PRO’s handling of Sounders this year.

(But of course, TT is 100% correct)

[Taylor Twellman @TaylorTwellman]

Dear lord that’s a soft penalty. #Sounders #MLS

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Someone should get a yellow for delaying the game.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Eternal Green tweet

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

On a scale from 1 to “rain on your wedding day”, the acronym of PRO both containing, and being short for, a word that means “a person competent or skilled in a particular activity” has to be , like, 11?

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

6 hours without a goal. So no pressure for those that need to grab a beer or take the dog out. Take your time.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

On a scale from 1 to “rain on your wedding day”, the acronym of PRO both containing, and being short for, a word that means “a person competent or skilled in a particular activity” has to be , like, 11?

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Well hopefully these 3 ref-assisted points will help Portland keep their playoff appearance rate above 50%.

We’ll just have to enjoy our new banner and our lack of any doubt of a post-season.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

We haven’t exactly covered ourselves in glory today (…yet), but compared to the officiating crew? We may be the most competent, reliable, people who should continue to be employed group I’ve ever seen.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Nearly doubled our season points in 3 days…

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Ref has a real “Let them* play” attitude.

*Minnesota

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

#concacaf #tacosandhaircuts

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Looking at the career stats, tonight might see Ochoa overtake Candy Crush for total time killed.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

I vote for any set pieces that float balls between Melia and Yeimar.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Straight red 💯💯💯

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

I don't mean to second guess Berhalter, but if I were coaching the USMNT I would just tell one of the guys to "Do a Joao Paulo".

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Take it to the bank.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Now running on full Roldan capacity, we are once again undefeatable.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Our only weakness seems to be a hangover after our kids beat a team in Dallas.

Luckily, not all hangovers last that long.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

@JeremiahOshan @Llarian That seems more likely than my current theory of Ruidiaz hitting the ball so hard it caused some sort of time dilation.

[Pain Machine @Pain_Machine]

Studying Portland's effort on Ruidiaz's go-ahead goal. From the main camera, it looks like they just stood there, stupefied. Looking for some additional angles. https://t.co/e99r1fDm78