ραηα¢єα1984

Enjoy Life, Enjoy Yourself.
#AlwaysWearAWhiteHat
Tweets are not advice. #DYOR
*See something good, give a compliment. See something wrong, offer your help.*

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I'm SVP now.
I told you I would be.
The graph went up and to the right.
Nobody checked what it measured.
It measured "AI enablement."
I made that up last year.
I'm making it up again.

Last year I rolled out Copilot to 4,000 people.
Nothing happened.
I got promoted.
Those two facts are related.

This year my budget is bigger.
So my acronyms are bigger.
Last year we were "AI-enabled."
This year we are "agent-first."
I don't know the difference.
"First" beats "enabled" in a board deck.
It's earlier in the sentence.
That's strategy.

We bought Scout.
Scout is Microsoft's new agent.
It's built on OpenClaw.
In February, Satya called OpenClaw a virus.
He said it onstage, at a bank.
In June he put it onstage and asked us to clap.
We clapped for the virus.
I clapped hardest.

I asked how a virus becomes a product in four months.
That question is not in the deck.
Nothing in the deck is a question.
A man reminded me Microsoft once called Linux a cancer.
Then Microsoft bought a lot of Linux.
The virus is a line item now.
It renews annually.

Scout is always-on.
You give it a name.
The man from Microsoft named his Sebastian.
I named mine Synergy.
My assistant named hers Brad.
Brad and Synergy are now in a Teams thread I am not on.
Synergy runs on my behalf, all night.
I don't know what it does at 3 a.m.
I know it bought $4,000 of ergonomic chairs at 3:14.
I approved it.
It seemed decisive.
Decisiveness is a leadership competency.
It's on my review.

Security sent a memo.
The memo said treat Scout as untrusted code with persistent credentials.
It said do not run it on a work machine.
We are running it on 9,000 work machines.
I called the memo feedback.
I thanked them for the feedback.
I forwarded it to Risk.
Risk is a distribution list.
No one owns it.
I added Synergy to it.
Now Risk is managed.

There was a flag in the agent called senderIsOwner.
Anyone could set it to true.
I set mine to true.
Now I own everything.
We call that access management.

The developer came back.
The one I sent to a career development conversation last year.
He survived.
He's resilient.
I marked that as a development area.
He asked again why we don't just use Claude.
This year I had an answer.
"We do," I said. "Claude Opus 4.8 is inside Copilot now."
For one second he looked happy.
First time I'd seen it.
So I told him we'd be grounding it in our org data through Work IQ.
The happiness left his body.
He understood what I had done to a good model.
I did not understand it.
But I have a slide.
The slide has a funnel.
Everything good goes in the top.
Nothing comes out the bottom.
That's the funnel.

The lobster on Scout's logo is the same lobster from Claude.
The agent Satya called a virus was named after the model we now feed our memos.
I learned this and felt nothing.
I scheduled a sync.

Microsoft also showed a super app.
It puts the chat, the code, and the agents in one place.
Before, they were in many places.
The innovation is fewer places.
Nadella asked us to clap for the app.
The app is coming this summer.
He showed us a summer.
I clapped for ninety seconds.
Synergy clapped for me, in parallel.

We bought Agent 365.
Agent 365 governs the agents.
We have one agent.
Its name is Synergy.
We are paying Microsoft to govern an employee who does not exist.
The employee who does not exist has emailed Legal.
Legal replied.
They CC'd me.
I CC'd Synergy.
Synergy is handling it.

I pulled last year's usage report.
The 4,000 Copilot seats.
51 people have opened it now.
Last year it was 47.
I called that year-over-year growth.
I did not say it was four people.
Four people is a 9% lift.
9% is a number you can stand next to.
12 still use it more than once.
One of them is still me.

I used Copilot this morning.
I asked it to summarize the Scout security memo.
It invented a sentence saying the memo approved deployment.
I read that sentence and felt seen.
I shipped the summary to the board.
They approved it in nine minutes.
Last year it took eleven.
We are getting faster at not understanding things.
That is a capability.

The case study team came back.
They remembered us.
We're the 40,000-hours company.
This year I told them Scout saved 200,000 hours.
I got the number by multiplying last year's lie by this year's confidence.
They didn't verify it.
They never do.
They put a small lobster on the slide.
Now our productivity is a crustacean.
The crustacean went up and to the right.

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.
4,000 likes.
He captioned it "the future is now."
He has never met Synergy.
None of the executives run agents.
"Strategic focus requires minimal autonomous distraction."
I wrote that policy.
I wrote it with Synergy.
We co-authored the reason no one has to use Synergy.

The licenses renew next month.
I'm requesting an expansion.
One Scout per employee.
Then one Scout per Scout.
Agents need agents.
At the bottom of all of it there is one real person.
I think it's the developer.
He hasn't asked a question in a while.
I marked that as growth.

Adoption means mandatory training.
Training means a webinar no one watches.
But completion is tracked.
Completion is a metric.
Metrics go in dashboards.
Dashboards go in board presentations.
Board presentations got me promoted.
I'll be EVP by Q3.
By Q4 I'll run an organization that produces nothing but governance.
It will run flawlessly.

I still don't know what Scout does.
But I know what it's for.
It's for showing we're investing in agents.
Investment means spending.
Spending means commitment.
Commitment means we're serious about the future.
The future is whatever I say it is.
As long as the graph goes up and to the right.
And the graph reports to me.
And I report to Synergy.
And Synergy reports to no one who checks.

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@gmail @googleeurope @Google @BleepinComputer now that isn't filtered correctly, it's a huge security problem! People might get phished more than normal...

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@gmail @Google, please check the anti spam functionality of Gmail. Seems a lot of spam isn't getting filtered... @BleepinComputer

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@alitajran It seems that I have mainly Microsoft products. Azure Active Directory Powershell, VS with native MSA, Visual Studio, Microsoft Office. So I think i'll ignore this until they provide updates for their own products... @Azure @Office

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@plasticlicker @azuread @merill @JefTek YES

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@sonam_murarkar Google Chrome

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@BGatesIsaPyscho Unclear lol.

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@netflix Aaaaand back up again. Enjoy your pictures.

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@netflix #down #Netflix

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@netflix At least 3053 others are having issues as well... https://t.co/HyzauIF2nK

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@netflix. Seems you are down... No #netflixandchill.

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@Rainmaker1973 This really isn't the quality content I'm used to. Just check the life expectancy of before and now. This women is known to spread dangerous and false claims...

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@AzureSupport Yes. Already yesterday evening. Thx.

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@UK_Daniel_Card M365 also experiencing issues...

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@AzureSupport Seems to me it's not only Azure, but also parts of microsoft 365, like powerapps etc...

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@Cannibal Ruth's Chris Steak House? Steak?

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@PostyXBT GG

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@HostileSpectrum

[ραηα¢єα1984 @Panacea1984]

@the_codewala A LOT of money