Pastor Paradox

A safe place to post all the stuff I shouldn't post on my real twitter account. #pastor #reallife #frustration #sometimessarcastic #oftenangry

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

What my wife says: Don't tickle me

What my wife means: Don't touch me anywhere because I'm ticklish everywhere.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

One of my least favorite things is when someone tells me "it's not a big deal" but then proceeds to make a big deal out of it. #WhatDoYouWantFromMe

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

I've given up trying to figure out what my wife would like most; I'm now trying to figure out what will make her the least mad. 🙄😭💔

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Ever want to ask someone close to you a question, but you can't ask it because you're afraid of the answer? That's me, 24/7

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

I think my body is running out of literal f**ks to give... I'd see a doctor about it, but my wife doesn't seem to mind. 🙄😕😢

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Stupidity at work is taking all of my energy lately, which falls under both pros and cons.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

It's Valentine's Day... So, there's that. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

I'm considering switching from "pastor" to "guru" - they get fewer chicks, but have more money and fewer people calling them.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

If only Job had friends like this.

[Pastor Pending @RecentPastor]

@ParadoxPastor I don't have any advice or wisdom, but just want you to know I read your words and am thinking of you.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

@RecentPastor You have no idea how much that means this morning.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

I really hate that all my father taught me was anger and lust. It's not entirely his fault, that's all his dad taught him. There's no fear or sadness... It's all stored up until it comes out as anger.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Sorry, not my usual attempt to be funny... I've just been going through a lot lately.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Even when I do, my wife just internalizes it and somehow thinks I'm trying to manipulate her because it's "just this again" and "nothing ever changes"

Well... Fuck me, right?!

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

I got my wife a bluetooth keychain because telling her "you should put them in the same place every time" when she misplaces her keys doesn't seem to help.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Women don't realize that men "take too long in the bathroom" because it's quiet in there.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

Tomorrow. Sunday. The day that is anything but "easy like a Sunday morning."

[George Holleway @GeorgeHolleway]

According to the Schaeffer Institute:

- 70 percent of pastors constantly fight depression
- 71 percent are burned out
- 80 percent believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families
- 70 percent say they don’t have a close friend

Pastors, you can ask for help too.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

@FailingPastor @Rachel14269227 I'm really good at eating pizza.

[Pastor Paradox @ParadoxPastor]

What's your pastoral pet peeve?

I'll go first:
Everybody wants to be served, nobody wants to serve.

Your turn 👇