Sarcastic Mom of 2

Because swearing at your children is frowned upon. Working Mom of 2 young girls. Welcome to the rat race!

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

6.5 daughter on visiting my Dad's grave today. "At least your Mom isn't dead too." #optimism #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

The trick to cutting my toddler's nails? The fart app or Journey music videos on YouTube. #parenting #yourewelcome

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

Toddler is down but I won't leave her room for fear of the floor creaking. #dontwakethemonster #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

Oh just recalling the time I said awful things to the baby & big sis heard thru the monitor. #busted #parenting #stilllaughing

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

My husband is taking our 7yo daughter to the pediatric obgyn Friday. To be a fly on the wall for that one! #parenting

[Amber Christensen @WatchThisMom1]

How many syllables can your kid turn "mom" into while whining?
Mo-ho-ho-ya-um.
We're on 5 and counting.
#momlife #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

6.5: "Mom, why are you using the '(good) dream spray' like perfume?" #BUSTED #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

My almost 2yo last night pointed to a #budlight & said, "Daddy's water." It was classic. #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

6yo daughter
#thestruggleisreal https://t.co/jra1X44UM2

[Kate Hall @KateWhineHall]

Me: Well, sweetie, a struggle you sometimes have is listening when people are talking to you.

10yo:

Me:

10:

Me:

10: Huh?

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

File under things I never thought I would say: Get your face away from your sister's vagina #parenting, so rewarding

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

"Binky at bedtime."
19mo screams.
[Repeat 16x]
Fine, take your fucking binky. Enjoy.

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

My 19mo is on Saltine #4 and bedtime was 40mins ago. #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

Guess who the asshole was at Curriculum Night to write in crayon & answer the Activote poll early? Not a rule follower.#parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

@StellaGMaddox @Dadpression Yes! Can't wait to play!!

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

@KateWhineHall Keeps 'em guessing!

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

He obviously wants to vacuum. Obviously. https://t.co/VRqgUgztsR

[Mama Dirt @PeachieMcGee]

Hubs just gave 1&3 mini powdered donuts to eat in the living room like he has never met our children. #parenting #momlife

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

When your 6.5yo girl pulls this from your drawer & says, "Mommy, what a pretty nighty." #holdingmybreath #parenting

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

My husband watched both girls today while I did a 5K & drank beer. Now he naps...

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

The drama of life w/ a 6.5 yo girl could win an Oscar. It's a scrape on your hand. It's not even bleeding! #lifewithgirls

[Sarcastic Mom of 2 @ParentSafeZone]

Husband: "We need to find a day care that boards." Long day w/ the little one. #parenting