Parish Magazine: The Movie

Read the script of a new film about the Church of England, improvised daily on Twitter. Hoping it has a happy ending. #CofE

[Parish Magazine: The Movie @ParishMagazine]

STAN
No, banter is singing ‘We’re posher than you, we’re posher than you, we’re Fulham FC, we’re posher than you.’

JULIE
Alright, keep your voice, you’ll wake Sal. They never sing ‘You’re hateful bigots, you’re hateful bigots…’

STAN
Not at Craven Cottage. Maybe at Synod but…

[Parish Magazine: The Movie @ParishMagazine]

Julie eats her fish fingers. It was supposed to be chicken but *someone* forgot to take it out of the freezer

JULIE
It is so hard to tell tone on twitter

STAN
Are you suggesting that ‘hateful bigots’ might be meant in a friendly way?

JULIE
It might be banter

#anglicantwitter

[Parish Magazine: The Movie @ParishMagazine]

Stan ignores her witticism, but he does pass the peas.

STAN
I dislike intra-denomination arguing. You can just call your opponent ‘unChristian’ and appear to have won.

JULIE
Who’s calling whom unChristian?

STAN
No one, yet. Just at the stage of calling them ‘hateful bigots’

[Parish Magazine: The Movie @ParishMagazine]

INT. THE VICARAGE EVE

We see the Rev Julie Sandals is sitting at the dining table. Her husband STAN is sitting opposite her scrolling on his phone.

JULIE
Pass the peas.

STAN
It’s all getting a bit heated on social media.

JULIE
Unlike this vicarage, amirite?

#CofE