Shayma Parveen

Take things one day at a time. And if that doesn’t work, go back to sleep.

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

About an hour ago, me muttering to myself: “-you could see it even without zooming in”
I was not. Talking about a photo. I was talking about my reflection in the mirror. I meant to say “looking closer”

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

There have been two instances that I remember where technology has messed with my language and that might not sound like a lot until I tell you what they are

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Long while ago, I opened the blinds, looked out the window, and went “woah the world is in such HD quality!”
As if I was looking through a camera. And I meant it full heartedly. Idek what I was tryna say atp

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

My friend: “I had a banana smoothie for the first time in 14 years…”
Me: “And how did it go?”
Her: “I mean. It went down.”

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Me: I’m not THAT dumb
@kaitlyn__mccoy: past experiences prove otherwise

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Friend: oh that looks familiar
Me: …the moon?
Her: yeah I think I have a picture of it
Me: the m o o n ?!?!
Her: yeah with those things too
Me: the TREES????!!???

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

My dermatologist said it’ll take 3-5 days for the inflammation of my skin to go down post procedure. I’m starting to wonder if she meant business days.

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

@kaitlyn__mccoy If you successfully manage to dissociate, let me know the dosage of the Benadryl, which brand of coffee and how much you drank.

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

So apparently our neighbors took some of our flowers we’re growing in front of our house after shooting my mom a text as a heads up… w/o waiting for her response/permission like oh ok I didn’t realize we were at the stage where you comfortably steal our plants now?

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

@xquisi Me literally at work right now

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

*Me trying to swipe out of a thread*
Twitter: *refuses to work*
*me trying to scroll down a thread*
Twitter: your finger was at a slight angle and not drawing a completely vertical line along your screen so you’re back on your homepage now :)

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

My sleep schedule is so bad I slept from 6 am to 11 am this morning but I may have also accidentally fixed it because it’s 10 pm and I’m ready to crash wish me luck

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Just got called old by one of my students for not knowing that TikTok has a repost feature. Like. Okay, cool, can we go back to discussing how you’re failing your current assignment right now :)

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

The cons of an online class: I don’t have the contact info for any of my classmates to check in w/ them on what they’re seeing. And here I was being happy that I wouldn’t have to interact w/ anyone irl…

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Should I be concerned? My professor hasn’t posted week 8’s module yet… which would be due this Sunday, and he normally would’ve posted it by like. Last week.

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

Like I wanna email him because what if my canvas is just glitching or smth and I’m not seeing it, but I also don’t wanna be that “is there homework?” person in case he really hasn’t posted anything yet

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

@kaitlyn__mccoy Background players that are crucial but easy to forget/ignore?

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

@kaitlyn__mccoy Does that mean patricide specifically targets Paris?

[Shayma Parveen @ParveenShayma]

"hey uh, can i ungraduate? just send my diploma back because i don't want it anymore. thanks for making me pay thousands of dollars and getting traumatized with anxiety but you can have it back."
— @kaitlyn__mccoy