Patrick Heming

I don't need a mouse to use excel

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

I’m a little excited

[Pavel Barber @HeyBarber]

#RareDanglesPB from the @deloffiziell.

Tim Stuetzle goes backhand between the legs then uses a backhand toe drag and dishes it off for near goal.

[Boppa 🧟‍♂️ @ihatebbls]

That boy a 97 overall cornerback btw

[Julian Edelman @Edelman11]

New England vs Everybody #GoPats

[New England Patriots @Patriots]

oh no 😬

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

@nicochristie Comment

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

At least 2 rocks followed by the water

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

@BringBackLee 2 tickets, either game!

[Club Giamatti 💫 @creamcheeselady]

get me to God’s country.

[Tanning Salon Don @TheSalonDon]

Real life detailed example of absurd false precision in PE modeling for billion dollar acquisitions

I’m working on a model for a shipyard that generates a percentage of revenue by unloading ships

I model the cost of people unloading to correlate to the amount of tons

ex. If last year 100 tons were unloaded and salaries for unloaders were $100k it’s $1k per additional ton unloaded

VP made me fix it to insert cliffs for hiring new unloaders

ex. We don’t add any salary until we unload 10 more tons, then we hire another guy for $10k

Principle made me fix it to account for the difference in manager salaries

Ex. We add $8k for each 5 non managers and $10k more every 5th guy

Finally we get to the meeting with an MD who plays around with the model and ups volume by 1%

This makes EBITDA go down he says “this model is clearly not working”

Principal looks at VP, VP looks at me

I explain it went down because it’s the unlucky 1% increase that adds a new laborer and a new manager to costs

MD says EBITDA should never go down when volume goes up and tells me to fix

I put it back to the original way and we never speak of it again

But we wasted 2 days working on a completely irrelevant problem and this is the norm

[TDot Resident @TDotResident]

Bike lanes

[Bells On Bloor @BellsOnBloor]

The number of cyclists in Toronto is triple what Doug Ford claims, latest transportation study reveals https://t.co/e3umocwhO1 via @torontostar

[Yellow Cat @YellowCatCap]

"of all the professions in the world, PE associates..."

[Alex Mather @AlexDRMather]

“Respect for taxpayers” is lighting $75 million on fire to make traffic very bad for a year, then not discernibly better afterwards, and endangering tens of thousands of people in the process.

Truly bottom of the barrel, lowest common denominator stuff.

[Stephen Wickens 🇺🇦 🇨🇦 @StephenWickens1]

As of today, Nov. 9, we have officially begun
the 14th year of Eglinton Crosstown construction.
Happy anniversary, @Metrolinx!
Congratulations @Crosslinx!

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

The future @PrabSarkaria wants to take away from you

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

The 1.2% datapoint being paraded around is from 2001. Well before the bike lanes went in

[Prabmeet Sarkaria @PrabSarkaria]

The 1.2 per cent of people who commute by bike shouldn’t be clogging primary roads for the over 70 per cent of people who drive. It’s just common sense.

[Alex Mather @AlexDRMather]

The University bike lanes that Ford says he’s ripping out were specifically requested by the CEOs of the hospitals they front so that their nurses, doctors, and staff could get to and from work safely.

[Friends and Families for Safe Streets @FFSafeStreets]

💥ACTION ALERT! Are you horrified at Doug Ford's attack on #RoadSafety? Join us Wed 5:00pm Queen's Park! Tell Doug Ford to stop trying to maximize #RoadViolence death and severe injury. Last year, 616 Ontarians killed + 36,090 injured in preventable crashes. #SafeStreetsSaveLives

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

This is the future @PrabSarkaria wants to take away from you

[𝚃𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚜 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚎 🚇 @grescoe]

"The right tool for the job..." isn't always a big-ass honking pick-up.

Picking up groceries with an F-150 is like...
Cracking nuts with a sledgehammer
or Making toast with a flamethrower.

6 out of 10 trips are under 5 miles; usually a smaller vehicle will do...

[Patrick Heming @Pat_Heming]

@nachkari Can’t speak for the rest of the pro-bike crowd, but I simply see it as a more efficient method of commuting.

I have a car for when I need to leave the city, but within the city limits I prefer a bike and prefer bike lanes