e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody)

Sportscaster providing in-depth #ONalysis for the @LAKings. Dad joke aficionado. A real guy’s guy. Not affiliated with @Patrick_ONeal. LFG. Parody.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

I just want to make sure one thing is clear, Stolly:

It’s still GO KINGS GO until they lower my cold, lifeless body into the dirt.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

Kings Legend Brayden McNabb with three (3) assists tonight, Stolly.

[Kalshi Sports @KalshiSports]

What’s the single worst mistake you’ve seen during a sports game?

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@kurri_jari I hate this. Thanks.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

Any Ball Knowers?

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@daddykopitar Really? Because I can.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@kurri_jari This rules lol.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@tytoff16 Top Titty. Kings Legend, Stolly.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

Congratulations to my close & personal friend, Kathryn Tappen, who was just recently added to Rutgers University’s BOD. It has been a joy to see Kathryn grow under my tutelage & I look forward to seeing her accomplish many more milestones in her professional career. Cheers.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

This is unironically a trade the Los Angeles Kings make to address the blueline, Stolly.

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Pittsburgh Zoo has agreed to trade 7-year-old male gorilla, Frankie, to Boston in exchange for 33-year-old silverback gorilla, Little Joe

Both trades were designed to 'provide a healthy, genetically diverse population of critically endangered gorillas in human care' 💯

(Via @PghZoo, @zoonewengland)

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@calstanvard They should NOT have a captain for next season, and just have 3-4 alternates.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

I’ve been informed that Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) did not interview with the Kings this past Friday. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[Jon Rosen @jonnyrosen]

I've been informed Cassidy interviewed with the Kings this past Friday.

[Jon Rosen @jonnyrosen]

I've been informed Cassidy interviewed with the Kings this past Friday.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

Good thread. @calstanvard remains the Foremost Authority on Unpleasant Kings Truth, Stolly.

[Hardcore Doughty @calstanvard]

🧵 Jake Goldberg Is Soon Gone?

A lot of rumors flying around that Chayka has already been recruiting LA Kings Sr Dir of Hockey Ops to Toronto. John Chayka and Jake Goldberg go way back to college in Canada. They're both alums of Ivey School of Business.

[Frank Seravalli @frank_seravalli]

League sources say #Oilers have sought permission to interview Bruce Cassidy as they contemplate significant coaching staff changes.

To this point, sources say @GoldenKnights have withheld permission from division rival.

Gamesmanship? Perhaps. Mostly unprecedented for role.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@frank_seravalli @GoldenKnights

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

No one here at South Beach knows that I run a small, niche LA Kings burner/parody account, Stolly.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

Why does every hit piece on Gavin McKenna just make him sound cooler than before, Stolly?

[The Daily Collegian @DailyCollegian]

Krystal McKenna, the mother of Penn State men’s hockey’s Gavin McKenna, has been charged with selling or furnishing liquor to minors

https://t.co/DW1Akwup8G

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@TSN_Sports @OverDrive1050 Strip him of his vote, Stolly.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@ByfieldForHart Patriot.

[e - Patrick O’Nalysis (Parody) @PatrickONalysis]

@EdmontonOilers @ThePHWA Bum.