Patrick Connell

If you give a man a fish, he'll ask you what the hell you did that for. Don't give fish to people. It's weird.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Make up your mind. Unless you've lost it ofcourse.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

20 Pics Of People Caught In An Agonizing Moment That Will Make You Feel Slightly Less Numbed For Three Seconds!

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

I'd agree with that if you weren't wrong.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

I imagine you all just think "Thank fuck I managed not to say that... Now where can I get rid of it?" and that's why I'm following.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Hey, people wearing camouflage. I can see you. It's not working.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

ghost reading

: when someone tells you all about a book they have read

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Awesome group cuddle. Now where's my glasses?

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Plot twist: We were China all along.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

I can't seem to get the hang of covering my PIN because I get robbed two bucks every time.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

When did the internet become all about telling me I've done everything wrong all my life?

[AmberTozer @AmberTozer]

When you're about to tell them that last night was fun but you don't want a relationship right now

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Not at all. Some of my best friends are superfoods.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Defrost means "to voluntarily wait salivating for longer than necessary" in microwave.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

"So we're doing a porn spoof of The X-files. Let's nail that title, people."

[two hours later]

"Uhm... Can we have some czechs in it?"

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

When they didn't have what you were looking for and you have to pass the register without paying for anything.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Sarah Palin must have just assumed we'd already tweeted everything we can possibly tweet about her a long time ago. She was wrong.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

"OK, duck face products. Let's think outside the box. Ideas?"
"Well, I got this dog that I hate..."

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

I'm just not sure but give me your eye contact details and I'll think about it.

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Me: I have three things to do but only time for one.
Brain: Do no things.
Me: (sighing with obviously feigned reluctancy) OK then...

[Patrick Connell @PatrickPinball]

Is there a way of not losing all respect for people who question why you know who directed the movie they're talking about?