Tony Calabrese

I went to Catholic School. I was raised by Irish nuns. I had A.D.D. Once......

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

@Dantethecomic What’s Up Doc?

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

@BB_Chargers It doesn’t matter who their coach is. The Chargers have been losing like this for years. This isn’t new. They have better than average starters but their backups are weak. They get worn down or injured and can’t compete. This is a management problem.

[Jason Kander @JasonKander]

Haven’t watched a 10 minute clip on twitter in forever but I watched every second of this and you should too. @jonstewart is a gifted activist.

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

@LauraHaydenFun That’s why you have to pay extra.

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

@LauraHaydenFun However in Alabama it’s called dating.

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

The old woman sitting next to me at the doctors office smells like bacon. Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson?

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Nerd Comedy Tonight! 7pm be there! https://t.co/RtGgLsgOk3

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

This Thursday night! Nerd Comedy Night at El Tejate in Carlsbad. I will be telling you everything you ever wanted to know about the science behind a good meatball. 7pm Show time. https://t.co/Kmzjx3mEol

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

In 62 years I have only walked out of two movies. Knives Out might be the single most boring movie of all time. It makes Ice Castles look like an action thriller. I lasted an hour and then said I’m done. And my... https://t.co/d9pdr2VpZY

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Next Thursday night in Carlsbad! Food and laughs! Nerd Comedy Night. https://t.co/SuF2myTCNF

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

This sums up my complete view of politics today. https://t.co/HrQl0Fk0Bl https://t.co/HrQl0Fk0Bl

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Did you know I can life insurance from Colonial Penn for just $9.95 a month?

How much life insurance?

Twelve dollars...

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

I have to pay better attention to the news. I think I just heard Nancy Pelosi talking about a candle that smelled like a peach.

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

We are almost sold out. My guess is they will all be gone by the end of the week. Don't wait until the last minute to order tickets. Use the form on the event page to order your tickets. Email [email protected] or [email protected]. https://t.co/P7DatCH3o8

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Now I know where the, “It’s better to light a candle...” quote cake from.

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

I encourage every San Diegan to help put a stop to these insane bike lanes and the $90 million dollars wasted by SANDAG and the proposed $1 trillion, that’s right “trillion” dollar plan for high speed rail in San Diego. These idiots need to be... https://t.co/KNp8H9lbyD

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Gweneth Paltrow selling a candle that smells like her vagina reminds me of the Karate Kid. Wax on wax off.

(I apologize I just had to get one joke out of my system. I’m going back to my pizza now.)

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

The problem with an emotional support pizza is it only lasts for ten minutes. Ok five...

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

RIP to one of the greatest drummers of all time. https://t.co/6URcwyqkIg

[Tony Calabrese @PatronZone]

Had a great time sharing the stage with these funny folks last night at the Irvine Improv! Thank you Jim Taylor for always putting together a great show!!! https://t.co/XCu8iWzA1z