Paul Grayer

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

"Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid? Jessie: Well, it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight."

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Oprah Winfrey~ The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

"How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?""How many do you think it takes?"""

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Richard Wagner~ I write music with an exclamation point

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Why was the skunk angry?He was incensed!

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?A slipped disk.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Alf Landon~ Wherever I have gone in this country I have found Americans.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Knock KnockWho's there !Ari !Ari who ?Arin't you glad you use Dial !

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?He was going as a banana.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Frank Bruno~ Boxing is just show business with blood.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

"Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass?Waiter: It scares away the flies."

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Ben Jonson~ Be not ashamed of thy virtues honors a good brooch to wear in a mans hat at all times.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Did you hear about the monster with five legs?His trousers fit him like a glove.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

What is a mouse's favourite game ? Hide and squeak !

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Alan Alexander Milne~ My spelling is Wobbly. Its good spelling but it Wobbles and the letters get in the wrong places.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Fulton John Sheen~ Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? You can hear their brooms tick!

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Paul Grayer @PaulGrayer]

May Sarton~ In a total work the failures have their not unimportant place.