Lindy Kirk

Writer. Dog lover. Speaker phone liability.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

You mean your #dog doesn’t pee on your stripper pole? Link 2 #Book in bio. #dogs #dogsoftwitter #dogmom #dogfriendly

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

Turns out, all we needed was the #CoronavirusOutbreak to ease our parking woes. #LALockdown #LosAngeles

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@imjasondiamond I’m a freelance writer & editor. Very interested in this if you have story topics left.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

Finding remnants of keylime pie on your pajama top: the mark of a #weekend well-lived.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@sarahhisfunny I mean, it’s pretty clear, isn’t it? He didn’t fuck his cat. Is that not something normal to tweet out?

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@Bez Is it confusing to anyone else that people are literally building robots to replace people? #justme?

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@realDonaldTrump Wait...I’m confused...when did the Executive Branch become the Overlord of corporations & Supreme Ruler over unused automobile plants?

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@itsJeffTiedrich @realDonaldTrump Oh, this made me laugh out loud! Hard! I just pictured Jared scurrying in there with a Diet Coke 😂🙈

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

When my #dogs act insane, I find a way to distract them.
Someone get @realDonaldTrump a KONG filled w/peanut butter!

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

I love when people geotag themselves @ home in #BeverlyHills but I know they actually live in Beverlywood. #juststop #la #LALife #LosAngeles

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@SortaBad I didn’t realize I was asking a yes or no question.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@MichaelAvenatti You mean you don’t enjoy looking at his Cheezy-Poof-stained face?

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@SortaBad The elevator in my apartment. Neighbors haven’t looked at me the same since.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

Families that #train together, stay together. #dogsoftwitter #workoutmotivation #gymmotivation

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@Bez Wait… Are you saying they aren’t the same?! #shook

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

We know everything about our #dogs. We pick up their poop. Clean out their eye goop. Brush their teeth. Yet, they don’t even know our names. Self-absorbed little monsters. #doglife #dogmom #doglover

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@SortaBad Ohh. I was picturing a bag having to be dumped out. But now I get it… This bag is just being dug out of the trash next to the bed. Sets the mood

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@SortaBad We gals like preparedness. And hey, hand me a Cheeto.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

I’m just verbally impulsive. I may tell you I’ll marry you. I may tell you I’ll kill you. Chances are slim I’ll do either.

[Lindy Kirk @PennedByPaws]

@mfbenji I can’t tell if her friend thinks she’s nailing this or just has WTF looping in her mind.