Nicola🇿🇼🩺

Unconventional Adulting 🌸|| If you wanna argue you’re right, leave me alone 🙏🏾

[Nicola🇿🇼🩺 @PetitPowerhouse]

**Goes for a jog in Harare**

Random man in the street: Maimbodyireiko??!!

💀💀💀

[Zarish @Zarish5062]

Cancer surgeon here. People like to point out that childfree women have a slightly increased risk for breast cancer without mentioning they have ZERO risk for:

- Perineal tears + fecal incontinence
- Preeclampsia
- Amniotic fluid embolism 
- Bladder, uterine, or rectal prolapse
- Diastasis recti
- Peripartum cardiomyopathy
- Postpartum depression
- Chronic pain from pelvic nerve damage

Stop shaming childfree women and start appreciating that families come in many flavors.

[Dura🎀 @ms0nigghaz]

I was actually one of the nurses on duty that day, and I can confirm every word. In fact, the moment she walked into the labor ward, we immediately realized this wasn’t going to be like every other delivery we’d spent years training for. We threw away the fetal monitor, the partograph, the blood pressure cuff, the IV cannula, the emergency trolley, and every obstetrics textbook because, as it turns out, all those things were completely unnecessary.

She simply walked to the bed, looked at the baby and said, “Come out.” The baby respectfully complied within minutes. No contractions to monitor, no cervical examinations, no assessment of fetal position, no concern about the size of the baby or the mother’s pelvis. Apparently none of that has ever mattered. We have all been wasting our time.

Immediately after the delivery, the hospital called an emergency meeting. Every obstetrician, midwife, anesthetist and pediatrician was informed that decades of medical training had been based on misinformation. We have now concluded that prolonged labor, obstructed labor, postpartum hemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, eclampsia, emergency C-sections and maternal mortality only happen because women failed to renew their gym memberships.

We’ve also contacted medical schools worldwide to remove Obstetrics & Gynecology from their curriculum. Future doctors will no longer learn about parity, cervical dilation, fetal distress, induction of labor, breech presentation, placenta previa, uterine rupture, or any of those outdated concepts. The only lecture remaining is “Stay Fit and Tell the Baby to Come Out.”

We’ve gone a step further and written to the World Health Organization, ACOG, RCOG and every maternity hospital across the globe to stop wasting resources on labor wards. Apparently the solution to childbirth has been sitting in a gym all along.

On behalf of every doctor, nurse, midwife, researcher, and every woman who has ever experienced a difficult or traumatic labor, we sincerely apologize for not realizing sooner that childbirth is actually a fitness competition. Thank you, sir, for correcting centuries of medical science with one tweet. We are forever indebted to you.

[Luna M ✨ @tiredfeminist_]

We are not your mothers🙏🏾

[Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real]

Hunger

[Raliat🧶 @raliat__]

A lot of us are happy cause we don't take men seriously anymore 😂

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple $9.99. Subscriptions. Subscription. Overdraft. Laundry. Fold. Text. Text. Text. Clean the house. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Doctors appoinment. Hair appoinment. Nail appointment. RENT. WAR! GOVERNMENT! POLITICS! THE PRESIDENT!!

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

but not the same resources

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

oh noooooo a child is born to homeowners with health insurance

[Nicola🇿🇼🩺 @PetitPowerhouse]

Dedicate it to something stable like electricity??😂😂😂

[Mwelase @m1ndfulm3l0dy]

Faith dedicated her thesis to her boyfriend. Supervisors aren't having it 😂

[Fadzayi Mahere🇿🇼 @advocatemahere]

🔸The way the world is talking about Zimbabwe after today’s T20 victory is how I want the world to always talk about us. Dominant. Competent. United. All those beautiful words that Zimbabwe was once known for. Thank you, Chevrons for putting respect on our name. Representing Zimbabwe on the international stage is the highest honour and you are executing it with distinction. #WeLoveYouChevrons #TeamZimbabwe🇿🇼

[UNOHANA.KNPCI🥷🏽 @xoxo_mjayy]

I yearn for a paycheck so intense that I turn into another person entirely.

[💗 @ma1ybe]

My sister is a florist, early morning a man from the military called her... mind you he's in Boot Camp right now so he didn't have a lot of time. he asked my sister if she could make a bouquet and deliver it to his girl before she wakes up..so my sister did that, after delivery he even called my sister and double checked...... a man in the military in Boot camp, with limited time to contact the outside world... Ladies if he wanted to, he would.

[Nicola🇿🇼🩺 @PetitPowerhouse]

don't respect*

[Nicola🇿🇼🩺 @PetitPowerhouse]

😂😂😂@ Debit orders don't vibes

[Miss Tee 💧💧💧 @MissTee_H2O]

Its 6am and the alarm is screaming like it pays rent 😭
Be honest Mzansi… are you going to work because you love your job or because debit orders don’t respect vibes?
Good morning fam 🌼🌼🌼

[Air Fryers' PR Consultant @theonlysabriena]

Bruh. You gotta do mini cleans every day fi yuh place look good all the time.

[MOTASE @TheRealMotase]

I sbwl things like this. I wish to experience this one day.

[Nicola🇿🇼🩺 @PetitPowerhouse]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

I respect the dedication bc I dress like Adam Sandler with a bonnet on.

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Men want babies that cost a woman her body, her sanity, her career, and her stability, but shame women for wanting financial security.

[Queen of BaTonga👑 @The_Tonga_Queen]

Greetings Zimbabwe and beyond
🙏 Ndokumbirawo 500 resposts🙏
✅️ Your repost may save a life
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✅️ Also download and share in your whatsapp groups & Facebook channels

Yours truly

Queen of BaTonga

[Africa Facts Zone @AfricaFactsZone]

Zimbabwe has been named the World's Best Country to Visit in 2025 by Forbes and Travel Experts.