Moon Tzu

He who returns from a journey Is not the same as he who left.

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[Moon Tzu @PhenomLius]

@JN_Chukwudi Eiii! Will holla you

[Moon Tzu @PhenomLius]

@JN_Chukwudi Where you based ? I have a hard copy

[Leandro 🇧🇷 @crfleandropires]

Modric, Perisic, Kramaric e Kovacic chegando pra mais uma Copa pela Croácia

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Boilers32 It most definitely was not. I would never have forgotten my drugs.

[Palash Shah @palashshah]

what if the guy who invented umbrellas wanted to name them brellas but hesitated

[Bert. @Bert_McSkreeenk]

Time travelling back to 2007 to show Kanye the Nazi he becomes and see how he reacts but he just says "nah that's AI" and I say "how the fuck do you know about that"

[taf 🝮 @tafphorisms]

I know people in tech who are literally never sober. Caffeine to wake up, adderall to work, weed to talk to dumb people, liquor to talk to hot people, ecstasy to party, micro-dose LSD to come up with app ideas, full dose LSD to never want to come up with app ideas again…

[valentine @valawakened]

Schrödinger’s flirting…I’m not flirting with you unless you want me to be. And if you don’t, then obviously I was joking the entire time. The intentions exist in a quantum state you’ll never fully decode.

[Manvir Bains ²⁰🏆 @MannyBLFC]

Pep Guardiola pulling up to Jürgen Klopp's villa in Majorca

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

I live in an apartment that I rent. If I wanted to invite a Vampire into my home, would I be able to? Or would he have to go through my landlord, the legal owner, in order to enter?

[smoothie @shedrinkswater]

Men do not fully understand this, but when a woman is deeply attracted to you, physical restraint becomes difficult for her. If the attraction is mutual, emotionally serious, and there is genuine resonance between both people, she will want closeness almost immediately, sometimes from the very first meeting, even if it is not technically a date.

Your lips, skin, hair, voice, the structure of your body, all of it becomes heightened in her perception simply because your physical proximity intensifies what she already feels internally.

The deeper the soul resonance between two people, the stronger the attraction tends to become. At a certain point, desire stops being purely visual and becomes recognitional.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

I missed my flight in Nairobi once because of traffic on Mombasa Road.
Like fully missed it. I got to the airport sweaty, exhausted, dragging my suitcase like it personally betrayed me.
I already knew there was no chance, but I still ran to the counter hoping for mercy.
The woman checked her screen, looked at me, then said, “You were the last passenger.”
I laughed a little because what else do you do at that point?
Then she lowered her voice and said, “The plane is still on the ground.”
Next thing I know this airport employee is SPEED WALKING me through the terminal like we’re in an action movie.
Security waved me through, another worker grabbed my carry-on to help me run, and I’m apologizing to literally everyone while fighting for my life.
I got to the gate completely out of breath.
The guy scanning boarding passes looked at me and said, “Eh, Nairobi traffic. We understand.”
People on the plane actually clapped when I walked in looking half dead.
I have never respected airport workers more in my life. Big up to them.

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

My dad always used to say “when you’re in a hole, stop digging.”
Lovely man, terrible archaeologist.

[Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot]

I wonder if the person who coined the phrase ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ got really annoyed when everyone else started using it.

[EHIZOJIE @DadaBoyEhiz]

In 🇲🇽 right now and I asked the bartender for coke ( in my loud naija voice ) and the whole bar looked at me crazy 😫 … it hit me and I shouted Coca-Cola pls 🤣🤣🤣

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

POV: you’re in a John Wick movie

[Moon Tzu @PhenomLius]

When a Brit says “alright, I’ll tell you what” they are in full negotiation mode.