Name's Philip. I'm a pixie. I work for caramel cubes, drive a candy cane, and currently for hire as an Elf on the Shelf spy. #NaughtyOrNice 🧚🏻♂️PARODY🧚🏻♂️
{purses my lips trying not to laugh} please let me just think it’s lemonade {puts a hand over my mouth} Philip {shakes my head} maybe if you give Lucas a sugar cube he’ll forgive you.
*Clasps my hands behind my back grins impishly.*
Stole the nerds food and traded @TheDarkestFae’s wine for…. Lemonade. *Snickers.* only it wasn’t really lemonaaaaade!
{rubs my hands over my face}
The nerdy one? The fat smelling one?
{sets another cube down} no one is going to kill you, but maybe tell me their real names? Or maybe some more descriptive things
*Peeks out from my cube.* The nerdy one knocked me unconscious with a marshmallow, and the smelly fat one with the drinking problem sent a hunter to kill me.
*Now, while I had been hired to also prank @Burn_TheWorld, the thought did occur to me that I might be tempting my teeny tiny fate.
So instead, I just left him some very special cookies I made just for Christmas before speeding off in my little motor car.*
*My last stop this year was to another gigantic giant @TheDarkestFae. He was awake, so I had to be sneaky.
I crawled up his desk and pinched his bottle of wine for my own after-Christmas party and left him a nutritious lemonade instead. Be healthy.*
* @Lucasbranwell and @TheStaringFae were next on the list. A plate of cookies sat on the countertop, so I swiped them all and shoved them into my tiny magical sack. All mine. All for my teeny tumtum.
Then before I whisked myself away to the next stop, I ate their cereal too.*
*Next up, I’d been instructed to see @I_Fear_Love. The gigantor.
My small, black-inked feet rush across the floor while he’s passed out drunk and I climb up his hairy arm and across his leaving teeny inky footprints all over his massive face.*