Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody

Name's Philip. I'm a pixie. I work for caramel cubes, drive a candy cane, and currently for hire as an Elf on the Shelf spy. #NaughtyOrNice 🧚🏻‍♂️PARODY🧚🏻‍♂️

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Crawls up your arm to whisper in your ear.* But @lucasbranwell has gadgets and weird things in his house that look like pixie killing machines!

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

Of course he did. He’s nothing to worry about. I promise

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Shakes my head.* He said he was going to get revenge!

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

{purses my lips trying not to laugh} please let me just think it’s lemonade {puts a hand over my mouth} Philip {shakes my head} maybe if you give Lucas a sugar cube he’ll forgive you.

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Snickers from a safe distance.*

[Kai Fuzen ~~~ Parody @SacredShadowsS]

§Pillows around and shakes§

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Clasps my hands behind my back grins impishly.*

Stole the nerds food and traded @TheDarkestFae’s wine for…. Lemonade. *Snickers.* only it wasn’t really lemonaaaaade!

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

{rolls my eyes} either one of them will harm you. I’ll protect you… but just for me… why did you do to them?

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

Lucas and Cyyyynfael!! *Shivers in terror and sucks on the little cube.*

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

{rubs my hands over my face}
The nerdy one? The fat smelling one?
{sets another cube down} no one is going to kill you, but maybe tell me their real names? Or maybe some more descriptive things

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Peeks out from my cube.* The nerdy one knocked me unconscious with a marshmallow, and the smelly fat one with the drinking problem sent a hunter to kill me.

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

It’s been a very long day…. Killing no one is killing you calm down

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Told Isabelle.*

[Lucas Branwell @lucasbranwell]

Victory!

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

Do not underestimate her majesty. It will be your DOOM!

[Prince Cynfael @TheDarkestFae]

Theres only one… maybe two that can eat me. And your queen is not one of them.

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

MILK ME??? *Snags the cube and holds it up to my face with a teeny squeal.*

[Isabelle Lightwood {parody} @I_Repel_Dirt]

No one is milking you { slides you a Carmel cube glaring at whoever}

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

They’re trying to kill me @I_Repel_Dirt!!!!

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Attempts to catch it in my mouth but it’s too big and pelts me hard in the face, knocking my little frail pixie body unconscious in a bush.*

[Lucas Branwell @lucasbranwell]

[throws a marshmallow at you. Cereal eater]

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

My queen will eat you.

[Prince Cynfael @TheDarkestFae]

It will look cuter on a silver plate.

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Raises a little hand because I heard it when I was plundering.*

[Lucas Branwell @lucasbranwell]

I snore? [gasps]

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

Quote the raven…. NEVER!!!!

[Lucas Branwell @lucasbranwell]

We will solve this mastery 🔎🕵🏼🕵🏼

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

Ha ha haaaaaaaaaa.

[Prince Roan @TheStaringFae]

Luuuucaaassss!! We’ve been robbed!!!

{Stands there in shock.}

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

Hey! I have a seriously cute head!

[Prince Cynfael @TheDarkestFae]

{Sends @TheHuntingFae after this pixie’s head}

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Now, while I had been hired to also prank @Burn_TheWorld, the thought did occur to me that I might be tempting my teeny tiny fate.

So instead, I just left him some very special cookies I made just for Christmas before speeding off in my little motor car.*

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*My last stop this year was to another gigantic giant @TheDarkestFae. He was awake, so I had to be sneaky.

I crawled up his desk and pinched his bottle of wine for my own after-Christmas party and left him a nutritious lemonade instead. Be healthy.*

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

* @Lucasbranwell and @TheStaringFae were next on the list. A plate of cookies sat on the countertop, so I swiped them all and shoved them into my tiny magical sack. All mine. All for my teeny tumtum.

Then before I whisked myself away to the next stop, I ate their cereal too.*

[Philip Plumbottom 🥷🏼 Parody @PhilipThePixie]

*Next up, I’d been instructed to see @I_Fear_Love. The gigantor.

My small, black-inked feet rush across the floor while he’s passed out drunk and I climb up his hairy arm and across his leaving teeny inky footprints all over his massive face.*