PhntmB

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Starting my Choptimus Prime era…

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Universe is gently nudging me today… and i’m being being receptive 🤭

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Jonathan’s dressing team #survivor50

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Rage baiting my 30 y/o brother by changing my HBO profile picture to Chris Moltisanti because his is also that…

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

I swear K Pop Demon Hunters is actually gym cheat code

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

About to see FNAF2 opening night alone and I’m sitting in a handicap seat. Thanks Obamna

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

@floralia4444 Die

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Just helped an elderly woman cross an icy street and she said “You are a perfect angel”… if only woman didn’t only go for the bad guys that mistreat, and cheat, and lie, and treat them like shit… smh 🤦‍♂️

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Me when I finally understand the plot

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Just about fucking had it with fats.

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Left my whitening strips in overnight. Swallowed one of them. Guess I literally can’t have anything nice ever. FMFFCCUFL (Fuck My Fucking Fat Chopped Chungus Unc Fucking Life)

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Went to Hy-Vee and did the blood pressure machine… 146/87. Fuck my big fat stage 2 hypertension chungus life.

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Just realized next year is going to be the Quarter Millennium Fourth of July… should I start grifting…

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

I imagine me with a headache is how people felt during the bubonic… oh brother this STINKS!

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

@godluvr666 God forbid man wants to play CoC…

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Turkish Sour Patch Kids taste like Greek oppression

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

Me when i start grifting for a side hustle

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

@floralia4444 Get off twitter and get out of bed.

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

@TiredCons @NotRadix @robrousseau

[PhntmB @PhntmBstrd]

@TiredCons @NotRadix @robrousseau Imagine buying a blue check with 42 followers