Pocket Witch

Second album, It Sounded like the Truth, out now on Bandcamp, Spotify, and the other usual places. Find me on Facebook here:

[Jack Bailey @JackBailey2]

A Piers Morgan story in three parts

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

@bihbongha Ugh probably yeah. Stupid moral compass.

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

@barneyhurley1

[Joelle Tungus @TungusBusko]

I dont care about animals. Keep the ban on fox hunting because rich people should have less ways to socialize #keeptheban

[Shirley Hughes @ShirleyHughes_]

Christmas Eve has come at last. Dad gets home early, and together they hang all sorts of pretty glittering things on the tree.

Lucy and Tom at Christmas

[David Lammy @DavidLammy]

I’ll never forget walking up Tottenham High Road on the morning after the riots started 10 years ago.

Those who caused the destruction hold responsibility for their actions. But it’s very worrying the government have left us vulnerable to a repeat. https://t.co/GwFY5FyLbg

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

I mean, yes, I understand how monopolies work. Weird thing to brag about, though.

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

What circle of Hell is it again where Ann Widdecombe discusses the evils of vaccination with Nigel Farage on a TV show called Talking Pints?

[James Timpson @JamesTCobbler]

Instead of making offenders wear high viz jackets in chain gangs, how about helping them get a real job instead? In my shops we employ lots of ex offenders and they wear a shirt and tie. Same people, different approach, a much better outcome.

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

@petedoherty Brilliant song. Could listen to it on repeat - forever. Like the Wolfman nod with the Marvin Gaye anthology bit too. He's never got his due as a writer.

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

For anyone confused by the situation in the UK today. Lord Pickles is a popular fictional character used by the supermarket chain Marks & Spencer to sell chutney. M&S are currently suing rival supermarket Aldi over their own (remarkably similar) character, Captain Gherkin.

[Hugh Brechin @HughRBrechin]

it is rightly hard to take a country seriously when the news is solemnly reporting the views of 'Lord Pickles'

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

@0oonthe @juancarlito88 With the exceptions of Wiggles, Curly and Connie, I'd say probably because of the patriarchy. When most inanimate things are given a name it tends to be a boys' one. We have a problem as a culture.

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

@BertytheSnowman @0oonthe @juancarlito88 Excuse me. My son is also named Wiggles.

[🇵🇸 @connorshuddy]

royalists to UK twitter

[Akala @akalamusic]

Yes of course. And if they can play identity politics and put a chosen Black face on the report all the better...

[Akala @akalamusic]

And to explain the problems of Britain’s Black underclass primarily through the lens of identity and then call the pushback against that ‘identity politics’

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

Brought to you by the Tory Party, in association with White People

[Pocket Witch @PocketWitching]

Welcome to Day 2, Series 5061 of This Report is a Fucking Whitewash