Poop Texts

Just a couple of guys poopin, textin, and tweeting those texts.

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

I must be a Targarian because only the true Dragon could withstand the heat of the Indo-chinese dump I just took

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

That wasn't very polite of Fudgy the Whale when he breached as I bent over to grab my dropped pen. #whalestail

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

Coffee and Indian food mixing together is like baking soda and vinegar, but I'm not winning any science class prizes for this foamy disaster

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

What's your type?

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

Why is it that my toilet grows a beard faster than I do?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Whenever I exit a public toilet, I make sweaty eye contact with the person waiting & say “Top that, cowboy.”

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

I feel like I am in a vietnamese rice paddy that's under heavy artillery. #noisyneighboors #splash

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

My butt just felt like a pinata being beaten by little Mexican ninas with sticks so I ran to the toilet but some candy fell out on the way.

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

#nye effects are causing me to rip weird hangover farts that sound like turles snapping flies off of damp lilly pads.

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

My new years resolution is to lose 5 lbs off my body other than my anus on a daily basis. #newyearsresolution #twentyfarteen

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

You haven't pooped until you've spent a week in tx. #texasflood

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

I woke up to such a bad Smell last night that I had to flick on the light to check my sheets for loose Guinea pigs #nocturnal farts

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

Being stuck in the artport for 14 hours has left me smelling like a pack of muddy dogs feasting on a rotten patch of pumpkins

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

The environmentalists wouldn't appreciate the carbonara footprint I just left in my underpants. #olivegarden #GlobalWarming

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

If youre in a meeting and it feels like theres a lit stick of TNT in your butt. Grip the table and think NFL defense. #stoptherun

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

Looks like someone found the human compost heap I have been building behind the loading docks. I wonder where it went? #fartilizer

[Poop Texts @PoopTexts]

I have a very particular set of smells. Smells I have acquired over a very long career. Smells that make me a nightmare for toilets like u.

[deg @degg]

IM A HUMAN BEING AND I DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT *weight of poop in my pants causes them to fall down, dick is covered in medicine*

[Jacy Catlin @ieatanddrink]

It takes a lot of courage to inflate your father's penis with a bike pump for no reason