Pope Sex

[Pope Sex @PopeSex]

@actinganeejit why'd you block me? your a dick

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

The best way to avoid a hangover is to drink so much that you die.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

The Americans trend things like "Happy St. Patty's Day" and then they wonder why there are terrorists.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

Saint Patrick was actually trying to charm the snakes but one day they got so tired of his tin whistle, they all just fucked off.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

My doctor says that if I keep buying cheap alcohol from the supermarket, Aldi before I'm 30.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

How long do you have to speak to and cuddle a sex-doll before you can have sex with her? I don't want to seem desperate.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

I married my Nintendo Entertainment System on a Wednesday.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

Which singer do prostitutes who tout for business near Egypt's main river like most? Niall Horan.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

My relationship status is: dying alone from alcohol poisoning.

[John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub]

#BreakUpLines L i n e s

[Bread John @Breadery]

These jokes were sponsored by an understanding that if you take it seriously you need reeducation.

[Alana Benson @LaniBeno]

I can't predict the future. So I'm going to create it instead.

[Alana Benson @LaniBeno]

All I want is for you to be happy. And a little bit naked.

[Alana Benson @LaniBeno]

My personal workout routine would include jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck & carrying too much weight on my shoulders.

[Commisions Opened | Aih |💗 @LenaaPrefabs]

Exercise is for the losers who aren't eternally doing tiny crunches caused by unexplainable stomach knots exacerbated by crippling anxiety.

[Commisions Opened | Aih |💗 @LenaaPrefabs]

When I was younger "ADD" was called, "Shut the fuck up and do your homework".

[Commisions Opened | Aih |💗 @LenaaPrefabs]

Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.