PowerOfTheClam

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

@RealiestPAPI When the girls stop leaving the room crying & start sticking around & staying pissed off, that doesn’t count as a point, huh?

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

After my bff called me out on being a dick, I decided to come clean and just be honest with Tor about being a dick. But I swear, I’m not!

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I didn’t go down on Romi, ergo I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Oh, show’s just about over! We now bring you our regularly scheduled me banging some chick.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

@HardWorkinIt Awesome! Let’s be besties! And while we’re at it, I’m going to utterly emasculate you for my own amusement.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I’m going to plot my conquest of Hot Personal Trainer For Movie in front of my would-be-gf, Tor.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I just got my 1st movie role as a zombie-slaying warrior chick. I leave a trail of brain-sucked lady zombies in my wake. It’s a stretch.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

It’s the most romantic day of the fuckin’ year.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

@RealiestPAPI Whatevs. I’ll give you 2 for that. Current score... PowerOfTheClam: 2; RealiestPAPI: 2.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

@RealiestPAPI Okay, Natalie’s crying… Does that count as your first point in the douchebag off contest?

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Shh! I’m going to sneak out of the house behind Tor’s back so I can go see Romi at a party...

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Tor puts the yum in DAYUM. I seriously need to hit that…

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

@RealiestPAPI Romi just called me crying after our impromptu make-out session. Does that count as a point?

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I should be honest with Romi and cut her loose. Or I could just make out with her outside the Abbey while my would-be-gf sits at home alone…

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I haven’t banged her yet, but we’re totes U-Hauling. Oh! Did I mention that Tor is the cousin of my business partner/ex-gf /roommate?

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I didn’t want do drop off a girl, circle the airport, and pick up another one. Honest, my car just tripped and fell into Tor's hoo-ha!

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

I’m butch-lite, but not really. Butches are so uncouth. Me? I’m a class fuckin’ act.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Fuck. I really like Sarah. AHHH! FEELINGS! Thank Jesus I’m picking up my next fling at the airport as soon as I drop her off at departures.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

My friends say I have magical giney powers because while I don’t understand the ladies, I bang LOTS of ‘em. But I swear I’m not into games.

[PowerOfTheClam @PowerOfTheClam]

Whatevs. LA lezzies are LIKE WHOA sophisticated for this butch/femme nonsense. We have “pants/pumps” instead. It’s TOTALS DIFF!