Preacher Perfect

Offending people in the name of Jesus since 2011.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

I can never get all my ducks in a row.

But my parade of wild chickens and feral hamsters is coming together nicely.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@realDonaldTrump @foxandfriends Get a job.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@LindseyGrahamSC @JoeBiden Senator Graham, you’ve become like Trump in that you are now calling people names. It’s sophomoric and beneath the dignity of your office. You were once a man of honor, whom many of us respected. How did Trump win you over to his dishonorable ways?

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Trump reads the #MuellerReport like Christians read the Bible. He believes the parts he agrees with and discredits the parts that make him look bad.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@marcorubio You celebrate the fact @realDonaldTrump didn’t do anything (collaborate). But that’s the point. He DIDN’T do anything to denounce. He welcomed the Russian help, asked for it, didn’t reject it. He passively collaborated and is still doing so. And you, Rubio, are ok with that.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Gary Drayton masquerading as a sunny-side-up egg on last week’s #OakIsland.

@CurseOfOak #curseofoakisland

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@YaelSpeaks That’s the truth!

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Billy making it into the War Room means there’s hope for us all. #oakisland #CurseOfOakIsland #TheCurseOfOakIsland

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Signed “Lots of Love, Cheeto Jesus”

Trump surveys Alabama tornado damage, receives criticism for autographing bibles during visit https://t.co/tkod5VDYX4

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Wonder what fast food the Patriots will get. #SuperBowl

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@realDonaldTrump A year ago, your tweets would get both supportive and derisive comments.

Now, it’s nearly all derision. Your supporters are abandoning your twitter feed. They will abandon you personally soon.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Headed to my man cave. The #AFCChampionship game is on and I need to root against the #Patriots.

#ChampionshipSunday #NEvsKC @NFL

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@realDonaldTrump @WhiteHouse

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Mary Oliver has passed beyond us. Safe travels, Mary.
#RIPMaryOliver #MaryOliver

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@realDonaldTrump Maybe you’ll have the privilege of reading back issues of @weeklystandard by @billkristol to pass the time in your prison cell.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

@whca I like this choice. The only person who could more accurately cast Trump into his sadly appropriate place in American history than a comedian is a presidential historian.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Hey, Terry Bradshaw, did you let your buddy, @hwinkler4real, pick your tie tonight? It’s great! @NFL #OAKvsSF

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

Just because you disagree on a major issue does not mean you disagree on a majority of issues. Find common ground with people. Allow people to find common ground with you. Finding common ground is the only thing that allows you to solve any issue.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

My friend reported that her pill organizer has a terrible attitude today.

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

#POTUS was much less of a bully in this alert text than he usually is in tweets. I find myself feeling cheated. #PRESIDENTALALERT

[Preacher Perfect @PreacherPerfect]

https://t.co/OvcGB1PI4u

I want to be somewhere with lots of people when this happens today, so I can watch the pandemonium. A Walmart would be best.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Cellphones across the United States will get a test alert at 2:18 p.m. Eastern. It will be the first nationwide test of a wireless emergency alert system. https://t.co/aPVdC5mdEh