Owen James

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

This belongs to all of us.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Scam Altman

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

@CollinRugg For the people bringing politics into this, some fact checking:

https://t.co/ivSQYqTC29

[Matt Ladrech @MattLadrech]

I’d like to formally announce my campaign to become the next mayor of the great city of Lafayette, CA

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

owenjames5

[Sleeper @SleeperHQ]

💰SLEEPER SQUARES is here for Week 1! 💰

Retweet with your Sleeper username for a chance at a square in tonight's game between the Cowboys and Buccaneers!🏈

We'll put $300 in the Sleeper account of the winner of each quarter, along with some cookies and mascots!

Good luck! 🤞

[Paddington @paddingtonbear]

I don't like marmalade anymore.

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

i'm using vosotros this summer. idc what the teachers told us

[GitHub @github]

You: //TODO
Us:

[Kendall Baker @kendallbaker]

Here's some footage (with sound!) from the surface of another planet, and you're just gonna scroll past it without even noticing to continue looking at memes, aren't you

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

@quatchh_ Hacked??

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

@VailResorts I have an epic pass but my pass status is listed as “Inactive” and the website advises calling a phone number which keeps disconnecting me. I’m trying to get SWAF tickets.

[Cassidy @cassidoo]

ASMR for developers

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

@quatchh_ I’m curious why two donuts is ideal. Would you like to go on a date to discuss

[World of Engineering @engineers_feed]

This is going to make you feel very small.

Fly away from the surface of Earth, past the Sun, out of the Solar System, through the closest stars, leave the Milky Way, to the cosmic web of galaxies in the nearby Universe.

https://t.co/pz7TrUO9Qb

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

I want everyone to know my family got out safely before Seattle fell. I am starting a government-in-exile here in New Seattle, which is what I call the parking lot of the Issaquah Costco.

[Owen James @Premium_OJ]

Netflix releasing V for Vendetta, a movie about a fascist dictator sarcaficing his citizens’ freedom for “law and order”, while we’re in lockdown is well done 👌

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The gerontocracy is out of touch with the people

[Isaac Robert @isaactweeting]

One of my best and oldest friends broke up with his high school girlfriend over a decade ago. Today, his wife of 7 years found this absolute ornament in their mailbox.

Just...stop what you're doing and read...🤯🤯🤯

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

TAKE QUAKE