Homestead Ninjas

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

I am a follower of Christ first.
I am a mom and a wife second.
I am an American third.

These are in order of priority. I will never forsake my faith for my country. Trump is not the savior of the world. Jesus is the savior of the world. Revelation was a warning to followers of Christ. It was not a prescription to summon Jesus. Helping to eliminate Al Aqsa mosque to rebuild the temple in any way will curse this nation that I call home. Zionists are not summoning Jesus by waging war and rebuilding the temple. They are summoning the antichrist. Read your Bible like a follower of Christ.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@TrinitySweeny @nypost @McJuggerNuggets Love it!

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@degenmegatron Yeah, looking back it was pretty horrible. It was too much of a whirlwind for me to even process any offenses.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

Ten years ago (6/7/16) I got a call that no expecting mother wants to get. I was at work, busy as I could be since I was the only clinical employee at the doctor's office that I basically ran by myself minus the receptionist. I worked full time, and I commuted an hour too and from work. Our two year old son was at daycare, and my husband was also at work.

The nurse on the other end of the phone told me that my 20 week gestation might have passed away based on our ultrasound at our last appointment. I instantly felt the deepest grief I had ever experienced. I was carrying around my lifeless baby girl, and somehow my body didn't even realize it. I immediately drove to my OBGYN for another ultrasound. I wasn't allowed to see the ultrasound screen this time. It was confirmed. I was told to go home, and I'd be admitted to L&D in the morning. I spent the night weeping in bed clinging to my soon to be empty belly. The sorrow of carrying around your dead baby inside of you is unimaginable. You feel helpless. Hopeless. I looked at the crib that was waiting for her...lime green, hot pink and black was the color theme. Colors that were a tribute to my mom who passed away a year before. Her crib bedding was secondhand, but lovingly made by the grandmother of the baby that slept in it previously. We didn't have much, but we started gathering baby necessities early. There it all sat in my townhouse to remind me of the baby I would never bring home. We had named her Isabelle already.

We arrived at the hospital, and it seemed as though nobody knew what to do with the lady who wanted to birth her dead baby instead of having it dismembered and sucked out of me. We waited at least an hour for them to clean a room far enough away from the occupied rooms so that I wouldn't have to listen to a live birth. Everything was sad and solemn. First, the pitocin was administered. I was so exhausted from staying awake crying and holding my belly that I fell asleep until the contractions got bad. She was birthed within minutes after I woke up and called the nurse. No doctor necessary. Just me, my husband, a couple nurses and a big biohazard box. I held her for as long as I could. She looked like a baby. She wasn't a clump of cells. She had fingers, toes, eyelids, earlobes, eyebrow fuzz even, and a gaping mouth. We took a few pictures. We held her close, and after resting I was discharged empty handed.

We had her cremated, and her urn sits on our mantle forever. Sometimes, I try to imagine what she would be like now. A vibrant 10 year old angel. We didn't suspect anything wrong with this pregnancy. Nothing like my first. We were told our first baby could have cystic fibrosis, and doctors urged us to consider abortion. The answer was immediately no, and baby was monitored closely the entire pregnancy. This pregnancy was uneventful by comparison until it wasn't. I blamed myself. A part of me still blames myself. My body didn't form the umbilical cord properly. Something I had no control over, but still felt like my failure.

Seeing a multimillionaire couple share about their "grief" after killing their baby due to the possibility of having downs syndrome has been so triggering. They're not grieving their baby. They're grieving the idea of the perfect baby that they wanted instead of the baby they actually created. All life is precious. You can't grieve a baby that you killed intentionally at 21 weeks.

I will see my angel, Isabelle again. I hope those two people find Jesus and repent so they can one day meet their precious baby who deserved a chance at life.

Isabelle Zaira 6/8/2016 😇🪽💜

#angelbaby #stillborn #rainbowbaby

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

My mom was forced to have an abortion by my dad. She was 10 years younger than him, and he would threaten to kill her if she tried to leave, and told her how worthless she would be without him. A year after her abortion she lost twins on Christmas Eve at 5 months pregnant. Her cervix never fully healed, and one of the twins slipped into the birth canal. She never got over all 3 losses.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@TrustJesusAlone You must repent and turn away from your sins also. 🙏

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@SusanR51NC @JonnyRoot_ Oh bless your heart. I'm so sorry, and I'm sorry if this was hard to read. I have no other words. 🥺💔

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@idropFbombs You know what makes us different from all animals? We have a soul, and we were made in the image of God Almighty. Only people who have betrayed their soul and rejected God think like this. Lord have mercy.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@LakeTania @Quietdespairing You are misinterpreting that scripture. The real meaning is don't judge people for the same thing you are guilty of. In other words don't be a hypocrite. It says we are to judge righteously. I am disabled, myself.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@clairelarson54 That's incredible! I have prayed for dreams of my mom and my baby girl.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@ThatMischaela That is my hope. It's painful to share, but I know it is important. God has reconciled my sorrow by giving me another daughter. I believe that is the only reason I can share my story. Until I had her I just wanted to be in heaven with my girl. 🫶

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

I believe in the Bible, and it tells me to judge righteously. There is nothing on earth more righteous imo. No baby is guaranteed to live a healthy life free of pain. I myself am far from free of pain. I need support. I am a sah homeschool mom. My husband supports me entirely, since said pain keeps me from working. Thank you.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@springtimeiris @GoldieLocks1776 Indeed. My mom as well. We have many angels awaiting our arrival. ♥️

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@carlakrae I'm so glad they were blessed with a rainbow baby. Losing a baby full term... it's just unimaginable. I hope they have found peace. 🙏

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@BlayzeKarp @Ilerioluwakiye_ 🤣 wow

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

I see you all especially you moms who experienced similar loss. My heart goes out to all of you. Your babies await your arrival. Press on and cling to Jesus. He is with you in the peaks and the valleys. 🙏
Thank you for your kind words.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

For anyone wondering about her appearance...
My appointment that triggered the phone call was about a week prior. The doctor was going over my ultrasound when he noticed that she was not growing anymore. I was so busy working, commuting and being a toddler mom with no additional help that I didn't realize there was no movement. I don't know why it took him a week. He was an old dude and retired shortly after. Anyway, she had probably died a week before that phone call, so she had decomposed some. Her skin was somewhat translucent and her tissue was like jelly. Had she not decomposed she would look even more like a baby. Very sad, but it was my reality.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

So sorry. 🫶 Very true! My mom grieved her twins that were stillborn on Christmas Eve until the day she died. I mourned my mom, but as she was passing away all I could say was "thank you, Jesus!" I must have said it a hundred times, because I knew at that moment she was meeting 3 of her babies again. One of which she aborted and regretted it every day. The abortion was botched, and her cervix never recovered causing her twins to slip into the birth canal and miscarry a year later at 23 weeks.

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@BlayzeKarp @Ilerioluwakiye_ I have two. Also, a cat, a bunny and 9 chickens. What's your point?

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@MrsLibertyBell1 It's excruciating no matter how far along you are really. I have a friend that has had 6 first trimester miscarriages between her 3 live births. She grieved each one deeply. 🫶

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

God saw fit to bless me with another daughter, so my sorrow could be reconciled. She has such a sweet heart. She asked about the urn, so we told her about her sister. She now includes her sister, Isabelle every time she draws our family. Her sister's middle name is her first name. ♥️

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

@LollDoll3 @PwnyRides @McJuggerNuggets It changes everything. I was pro-choice before this happened to us.

https://t.co/CQxPEENOMV

[Homestead Ninjas @PrimeHomestead]

Ten years ago (6/7/16) I got a call that no expecting mother wants to get. I was at work, busy as I could be since I was the only clinical employee at the doctor's office that I basically ran by myself minus the receptionist. I worked full time, and I commuted an hour too and from work. Our two year old son was at daycare, and my husband was also at work.

The nurse on the other end of the phone told me that my 20 week gestation might have passed away based on our ultrasound at our last appointment. I instantly felt the deepest grief I had ever experienced. I was carrying around my lifeless baby girl, and somehow my body didn't even realize it. I immediately drove to my OBGYN for another ultrasound. I wasn't allowed to see the ultrasound screen this time. It was confirmed. I was told to go home, and I'd be admitted to L&D in the morning. I spent the night weeping in bed clinging to my soon to be empty belly. The sorrow of carrying around your dead baby inside of you is unimaginable. You feel helpless. Hopeless. I looked at the crib that was waiting for her...lime green, hot pink and black was the color theme. Colors that were a tribute to my mom who passed away a year before. Her crib bedding was secondhand, but lovingly made by the grandmother of the baby that slept in it previously. We didn't have much, but we started gathering baby necessities early. There it all sat in my townhouse to remind me of the baby I would never bring home. We had named her Isabelle already.

We arrived at the hospital, and it seemed as though nobody knew what to do with the lady who wanted to birth her dead baby instead of having it dismembered and sucked out of me. We waited at least an hour for them to clean a room far enough away from the occupied rooms so that I wouldn't have to listen to a live birth. Everything was sad and solemn. First, the pitocin was administered. I was so exhausted from staying awake crying and holding my belly that I fell asleep until the contractions got bad. She was birthed within minutes after I woke up and called the nurse. No doctor necessary. Just me, my husband, a couple nurses and a big biohazard box. I held her for as long as I could. She looked like a baby. She wasn't a clump of cells. She had fingers, toes, eyelids, earlobes, eyebrow fuzz even, and a gaping mouth. We took a few pictures. We held her close, and after resting I was discharged empty handed.

We had her cremated, and her urn sits on our mantle forever. Sometimes, I try to imagine what she would be like now. A vibrant 10 year old angel. We didn't suspect anything wrong with this pregnancy. Nothing like my first. We were told our first baby could have cystic fibrosis, and doctors urged us to consider abortion. The answer was immediately no, and baby was monitored closely the entire pregnancy. This pregnancy was uneventful by comparison until it wasn't. I blamed myself. A part of me still blames myself. My body didn't form the umbilical cord properly. Something I had no control over, but still felt like my failure.

Seeing a multimillionaire couple share about their "grief" after killing their baby due to the possibility of having downs syndrome has been so triggering. They're not grieving their baby. They're grieving the idea of the perfect baby that they wanted instead of the baby they actually created. All life is precious. You can't grieve a baby that you killed intentionally at 21 weeks.

I will see my angel, Isabelle again. I hope those two people find Jesus and repent so they can one day meet their precious baby who deserved a chance at life.

Isabelle Zaira 6/8/2016 😇🪽💜

#angelbaby #stillborn #rainbowbaby