Shifty Sparkles

Professional Dog Wrangler. Cat mom. Mac and cheese aficionado. Human manifestation of unicorn vomit.

[georg @vettelsf]

@archivetaylors so people hate you are in love??? and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wARS???? AND WHY I'VE spent my whole life trying to put it into wordS????? CAUSE YOU CAN HEAR IT IN THE SILENCE!!!!!

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

Looking up videos of exercises I can do with my puppy so that we can do French Ring when she's older; why do more balanced trainers only ever use luring to teach behaviors?? Like does it affect how the final behavior looks? My little one gets so bored with just luring

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

@voidmagician_ This would make me subscribe to their patreon

[shelby. @cathedralslut]

Sharpay was right, this is not what I want, this is not what I planned and I just gotta say I do not understand

[🏴‍☠️Thomas Hewitts Whore 🏴‍☠️ @HewittsWhore]

Me: I don’t form parasocial relationships

Also me after hearing Ned from Try Guys cheated on his wife:

[Sam Winkler @ThatSamWinkler]

The Slut Era is over. The Time of the Orc has come.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

God had to nerf my puppy by making her fussy in her crate because otherwise she would be too powerful.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

I absolutely love how quickly puppies can go from fully feral mongrals with a craving for human flesh to sleeping bundles of joy and love.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

I'm back on my ADHD meds for the first time in a couple months and it's like seeing an old friend except the friend is executive function and the ability to text my friends

[Andrea More @amore_orless]

My dog hates fireworks (he served in Iraq)

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Forced pregnancy is a crime against humanity.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

TLDR: to me, real leadership is the ability to get what you want without the use of fear, intimidation, or coercion. ❤️

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

It’s not enough for me for my dogs to “listen”. Is their body language loose? Is their face free of tension? Is their mouth soft when taking food? Are they consenting to each rep? Do they have an open line of communication with me?

[banthony @banthonycap]

some photos i took from last night’s eclipse

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

@JenniferGoodn13 Thank you for saying this. Something about being thin seems to give people the impression that they’re allowed to made rude comments about my body.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

This morning I had to postmates a Covid test.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

The other day, my white, heterosexual, cisgendered husband from an upper class background received this fortune cookie.

[Shifty Sparkles @PrincessGabz]

@Abethoughtss We had online grades when I was in high school, pop didn’t know how to log in so he *thought* I was hiding it 🤦‍♀️