straight edge derek

lost my social security card at the target on 5th street

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

in the club making everyone uncomfortable

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

using my pet rock for home defense

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

the vape i bought just gave me herpes

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

just held the door for a fat stud #Ally

[jacsyn @crickets4u]

when ur an evil man god takes ur hairline first

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

blasting three 6 mafia while im harvesting strawberries from my garden

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

that gas station rhino pill is giving me heart palpitations

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

fent leaning outside my apartment to keep the rent low

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

grandma just nosedived off the balcony because i told her bingo was canceled

[ominous @0MINOUSLUMINOUS]

if i see that fucking ugly medieval racist girl on my timeline even one more time im shooting myself

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

the urinal sensor just scanned my balls and put it in flocks database

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

getting gang stalked by firefighters because they saw me chain smoking near a wooded area

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

the debt collector and repo man outside my rv are working together to kill me

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

looking up can wasian people see into the future

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

getting paid by the hour to dig in my butt

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

pranking my homeboy by replacing his chewing tobacco with kratom leaves

[bbunz @zpgys7]

you dumb stupid moid

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

coinstar wont give me cash so i guess we throwing rolls of quarters at the dancers tn

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

my dentist moaned when he put his fingers in my mouth

[straight edge derek @ProfessorGroper]

drone striking my dominos delivery driver because he forgot my dr pepper