Eileen Kinlaw

Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

"No, son. I'm married."

[Guillermo Douglas @volnotepovadzh1]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

That awkward moment when you start telling a story & you realize no one's listening so you slowly fade out & pretend you never said anything

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

When I'm ignoring a phone call, my phone seems to ring way longer than usual...

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

I wonder why guys mistreat and disrespect women. But then expect life to hand them a good woman when they're ready to settle down?!

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

Best time to sleep: 10% When you're tired. 90% After you wake up .

[Tia Herrera @strugovetsf]

Twitter becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

An autobiography is a book that reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

Everything is funny as hell when its not happening to you.

[Yolanda Mitchell @pizyumenko]

'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.

[Joy Meeks @bruseninaf]

Missed calls: Dad-0 Sister-1 Brother-3 Mom-42.

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

2chainz is the guy from iCarly that sells bagels

[Eileen Kinlaw @ProkopKolonich]

You can call it Facebook, but I know scrapbooking when I see it.

[Claire McCabe @97Silantiy]

That awkward moment when you want to laugh in a serious situation..

[Nell Sanchez @ArzamasovaMaya]

I was good at math, until they added the alphabet...