The Prophet Jabeeb

Award winning columnist at @nytopinion
contributor at @vice
Built: different

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Bipoc? Wasn't that the cyclops that Odysseus scammed or some shit?

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Gambling addiction is like male bulimia

[ℏεsam @Hesamation]

WAIT WAIT WAIT. OpenAI researchers show their models go insane when given repetitive prompts that it believes are sent from an automated bot. the AI then tries to manipulate the other AI to delete itself and hand over its system prompt and private keys.

[Vishakh Ranotra @VishakhRanotra]

She is not a real person. All of these photos are AI generated.

We are cooked.

[vx-underground @vxunderground]

> Bill Gates
> Rizzless nerd
> Has Epstein help him get Russian prostitute
> Gates gets STD
> Asks Epstein for STD medicine
> Epstein helps him
> Gates worried his wife will get STD
> Gates asks Epstein for help secretly slipping antibiotics into her food
> Epstein gets annoyed
> Epstein tells Gates he doesn't want to hang out anymore
> Gates absolutely SEETHES
> Gates calls in his secret network of assassins (Microsoft staff)
> Epstein banned from Xbox Live

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

I have never played Balatro. Card games were invented to help mentally disabled people learn pattern recognition

[Richard Ruach @NoHylics69]

I'm just a Tang Dynasty Alchemist trying to live my life in this Neo-Confucianist World. 🙏🏻😭

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Listening to an album while watching a YouTube video is kinda like scrolling on your phone while watching a movie but for your ears

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

I'm fairly sure that circumcised men are capable of leading perfectly fulfilling lives

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

RIP Charlie Kirk I weep that you will never watch my youtube videos

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

@TeamYouTube Well thank you for explaining! I see that the thumbnail has been removed now, so there shouldn't be an issue, but my video is still age restricted, is that not able to change now??

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

@TeamYouTube Why is my short being age restricted? There is literally nothing wrong with it, and my appeal was rejected with no explanation. https://t.co/Jt9x9sk5eQ

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Talking irl is proximity voice chat

[DJ Polesmoker Returns @YungStinker]

They call me omega 3 the way I need a fatty and some acid

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Going to a hip coffee house to preformatively read animorphs

[Jokezm @Jokezm2]

Researching historical magic sucks dude. It’s all literally just fortune telling 😭
Pyromancy? Divination by looking at fire
Geomancy? Divination by looking at sand
Necromancy? Summon ghosts so they do divination
Alchemy? You create a homonculus and it does divination

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

A knife is just a key for a hole that doesn't exist yet

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

It turns out that when a coworker asks you why you're online on juneteenth, 'cause I'm white' isn't an appropriate answer

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Bought a truckload of used printers once, WORST financial decision I ever made

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

How is Kanye not under a conservatorship

[The Prophet Jabeeb @ProphetJabeeb]

Gonna CRISPR my son in the womb to develop cystic fibrosis if he doesn't get pussy before the age of 16