space sweepers dir. jo sung-hee
6/5 found family is amazing and CRIME found family is BETTERR. the little girl is so cute i love the tomato scene. gr8 trans narrative. i want kim tae ri to ******-**** me so badly like her entire aesthetic was mean lesbian and it was extremely hot
omg these are all my comments <3 <3 <3
.5/5
it is gay but i didn't like it. wish paris and the daughter fucked. citlali milf agenda in the works but not working. bing bang bong. read all of tjis as a closeup. it WAS the perfect ending bc she died but her husband shoulda died to
-5/5 stars
Was having fun before the joke made at trans peoples’ expense, absolutely unacceptable. on thinking about it this movie is actually very homophobic, all the gay coded characters are villains or predatory. + that joke again. fuck this movie for real
Barely Lethal by @kyle_newman
2/5 Stars
It had maybe four jokes. I know a poop when I see one and you can’t fight that. We’re really concerned about consent for these teenagers. And the parents. And the teachers. Everyone in this movie. That teacher was not ok. Jessica Alba hot
THE CONNECTED SEASHELLS TO ALWAYS FIND EACH OTHER not to mention the camp quality to everything like I’ve actually written 3 whole tweets about this. favorite movie of 2020 so far and I’ll be thinking about it for ages to come. rip the lesbian scientist villain tho (3/3) 🧜🏽♀️🐬🌈
Barbie Dolphin Magic dir. Conrad Helten
not even 5/5 this was like 10,000/5 i legit can’t describe the joy I felt watching this movie (souping up her ride had me in actual tears) but more importantly this was actually written as a classic gay coming of age story (1/3)
like swimming in a pool together is SUCH a classic trope of gay coming of age movies and they had interlocked arms and dolphins swimming around them it was straight korrasami shit like [raven] i could not BElieve it. mermaids as hidden queerness? keeping it from the family? (2/3)
5/5
pure fun and joy [something incomprehensible about camp (& no cami not tents in woods)] barbie and sal-lee were the real couple with development and friendship and love! [something about the fun free dancing queering the king’s usual stiff formal dancing]
Barbie’s Star Light Adventure by Michael Goguen and Andrew Tan
5/5 Stars
Better than any sci-fi before it. Can’t believe that this movie invented the scientific fiction genre. Pupcorn is the cutest animal. Star Liam is ugly as fuck. Barbie’s dad = Daddy #Paper
0/5
FUCK no. literally just a man’s fantasy that a younger, more attractive woman will be into him even though he’s boring as all fuck and offers nothing. watch crazy ex gf. we’ll forgive amanda seyfried tho bc she did jennifer’s body & that’s lesbian rights. we love u amanda
The Clapper by @ditomontiel
0.75/5 Stars
A quarter star because Amanda Seyfried. Half a star because it resembled a movie. Did all the actors need money this badly? We know Amanda Seyfried was held a gunpoint for this. Really empty gas stations, sponsored by Mobil. #FindJudy No
5/5 Stars
honestly not reading into it much i’m Just gay and love this movie. BUT the way it was produced independently, away from major animation studios . . . queer narrative #RedIsBlue&LoveIsLove
3/5 Stars
when danny’s bff since childhood was like HOW COULD U LIE TO ME . . . to ME . . . did you ALSO lie about hooking up with a GIRL?! 👀 and then almost immediately paralleled that scene with emma and her boyfriend breaking up. ok ok. danny just wanted to be gay and sing :/
The College Admissions Scandal by @AdamSalky
We were paid to give it 5/5 Stars
R blueberries even her favorite food?!? Love the melodramatic walkout despite his desire not to. Wish they hadn’t said UCLA so many times
Citlali’s Potatoes by @CIDPLAYSLEAGUE
1/5
THOSE BITCHES R NOT COOKED THROUGHHHH and NO undercooking your food is the One Thing that you CAN’T claim is a queer narrative. the 1 star is for fulfilling the “gays can’t cook” meme but by god i wish you could #RIPJonathanSwiftsLegacy
0/5 Stars
HOMOPHOBICCCC MOVIE her entire arc is a coming out narrative but this movie is so fucking stupid that i don’t WANT it to be gay. no one in this movie deserves to be gay. & you know whose high school experience IS worse than jodi’s? a gay kids’. HATE this FUCKING movie
Tall Girl by @samwolfson
1.5/5 Stars
There was no outright abuse so it’s better than The Kissing Booth. We r all tall girls in our hearts. Liz was the true victim of this movie. Milk crate was unnecessary. @SabrinaAnnLynn was the best part of this movie. This is a 2 tweet movie.
.75/5 Stars
the robot was really into kissing the guy but then there were robot tiddies? & then i was thinking what’s the point of giving a robot a sexuality. & all of stella’s outfits 🙄 anyway the .75 is bc stella led all those men on & bc #HomosocialCavemen#HomosocialAmazons
Starcrash as reviewed by Mystery Science Theatre 3000 as reviewed by us.
3000 Stars (but they crashed)
All her outfits were the same but different. Of all the jokes, it was the fart joke that got us.
Best scene: Timestamp 35:52-35:54
#Torpedo#Yeeha
FIFA Women’s World Cup 2019 by US Women’s National Team (cuz they won)
5/5 Stars
We’ve never seen Peyton like this.
“They’re all good at soccer” -Cami
Enjoyed the Milan trailer.
Nike commercial was also good.
#cantDutchthis
5/5 Stars
Alex chooses DANCE and DRAMA and SENSITIVITY over the AGGRESSIVELY VIOLENT HETEROSEXUALITY of the lion pride. all the monkeys r male 👀 king julian + his buddy r also verryyyyy close #LoveTranscendsAllDifference actual quote. i see u madagascar
Madagascar 2 by Tom McGrath and Eric Darnell
4/5 Stars
If... if... if.... if.... if penguins had thumbs. Power to the monkey proletariat. Seize the means of bananas. #DasMonkital
Cane Toads: An Unnatural History by Mark Lewis
5/5 Stars
Very informative. We were suitably horrified and suitably entertained. Guys.... the toads killed his native cat. But. They also jumped on the other guys toes.
“Hbrbhrbbhrbrbhbbrhbrhbrhrbhrbb”
- Toad Scientist