“What made you stay with your partner?”
10,358 men and women across 43 countries and 22 languages were asked this question (of which 6,833 were women)
Their top answer?
“Being a good lover”
If this isn’t proof sex is the glue that holds relationships together, I don’t know what is.
Unpopular opinion: If you're in a relationship you should be in as good, if not better shape, than when you first met your partner. No matter what anyone says looks matter and we should be trying our best to uphold the same standards of attractiveness as when you first met.
@FontainebleauLV says their venues "cater to every desire" and promise "high-end revelry" for guests who want to "mix and mingle" ...you can use desire to sell your product as long as the product doesn't involve desire...
You don’t fix sexless marriage with one conversation; you fix it with a new standard.
Habits beat intention every time.
You need consistent rituals, private time, flirtation, initiation, and a home environment that doesn’t feel like a complaint department at a caustic job.
Christians are the BEST at making marriage sound like the worst…
“You may hate each other’s guts, but at least you’re still married! Oolololol”
“Love is a CHOICE! You just gotta muscle through!”
“There’s nothing more romantic than being devoted to someone you actually hold no romantic feelings for!”
Essentially the current Christian message regarding marriage is to settle. That mere tired endurance is a virtue.
The entire focus is “whatever you do, just don’t get divorced.”
Not
“Here’s how to have a marriage neither one of you will ever want to leave.”
Obviously there is some stick-to-itivness that’s necessary. There’s a reason Christians who attend church at least once a week have one of the lowest divorce rates.
However, Christians have become too comfortable with cringe and passivity disguised as patience. If you shame people who make sex sexy, people who are upset the spark has gone, people who want more than tolerance… and your only message is to white knuckle it…
Youre not being a good witness.
“Given the scientific literature, our neurologic wiring, the millions of years of evolutionary adaptation that shaped our relationship to pair bonding, the societal and psychological benefits of monogamy, and the risk that chronic loneliness poses, I can’t imagine why we don’t celebrate romantic love more often.”
@0rang3youglad makes a very strong case for centering your life around romantic love. A great, informative read for Evie Magazine:
https://t.co/Uv5AiVa7yA
Sex isn’t a need. You can survive without it. But do you want a relationship that just survives?
A flourishing, vibrant life is one that reaches outside of basic survival needs and a relationship is no different.
You don’t need sex in order to survive. You also don’t need a marriage in order to survive. But if those are things you want, would you want to live a life without them? What’s the quality of your marriage without sex?
The argument should always stay firmly in sex being a response to a fulfilling relationship, not that sex isn’t needed at all because really, it is.
Your spouse isn’t there so fulfil your every desire on command, no one owes sex to anyone. Sex isn’t a duty of marriage, it’s the response to both people fulfilling their marital duties.
A strong, connected marriage isn’t sexless. A strong, connected marriage also doesn’t make sex an obligation. It is a desire that both people have because both people are creating an environment where regular intimacy is a shared craving.