Blimp: The Hindenburg Story

if we're close enough friends I might beg you to like my tweet

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

Me, a rich father: Happy 8th birthday sweetheart! Big surprise this year. Mom told me how much you love something called [squints at piece of paper] "Clifford the Big Dead Frog". Anyway, I love you, go check the garage you little scamp!

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

wet dream tomatoes aside, "concrete jungle where dreams are made of" is also utter nonsense

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

Giancarlo Stanton's dad was a trebuchet with a soul patch

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

@orinanne dollar store bullshit: squirt guns, cap guns, guns, etc.

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

in high school i dressed as santa claus every december and handed out presents in the hallway because i was desperate for attention

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

if I was gonna eat a house pet I wouldn't eat a cat I'd eat Brian from Family Guy

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

parents: here's our kid for choir practice, make sure u don't make them sing anything weird.

choir teacher: of course not, what a strange request.

*ten minutes later*

choir: MOMMY MADE ME MASH MY M&Ms. MOMMY MADE ME MASH MY M&Ms. MOMMY MADE ME

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

math is not one of the "four" virtues

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

is there a reason every electric car has to look like you're driving to prove you're innocent of a crime that two twins in a bathtub said is going to happen soon?

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

fuck whatever 24 year old Deloitte cokehead convinced them to reorganize my grocery store where the fuck is everything

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

@orinanne is this Bob Odenkirk

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

@orinanne in New York everyone's famous it's actually more interesting to be not famous

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

we didn't listen

[ALX 🇺🇸 @alx]

Democrat Governor of New York, Kathy Hochul: “Young black kids growing up in the Bronx who don’t even know what the word ‘computer’ is”

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

no shade but the side of the moon that faces us is def the better side

[Curiosity @CuriosityonX]

From a million miles away, NASA captures Moon crossing face of Earth. (Yes, this is a real image)
Credit: NASA/NOAA

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

anyone stronger than me at the gym is a try hard loser and anyone weaker than me is a pathetic dork

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

apologies for using you Alexandra but they're obsessed with you

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

so twitter now is just like a bunch of bots called like "The Film School Scholar" and the bio is like "In Celebration of Western Art and The Motion Picture." and then every post is just a picture of Alexandra Daddario's taint with a caption that says like "what they took from us"

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

if you see something suspicious say something suspicious

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

my politics are solely based on whether @UpFirst plays a happy or sad jingle after the news segment, then I know how to feel

[Blimp: The Hindenburg Story @RJ_Kos]

@ThePocketReport first