Rachel Torres

Holla at yo gurl, like yo dad when he's pissed off.

[VICE UK @VICEUK]

This guy was crucified as a publicity stunt for some website no one cares about: http://t.co/eZcQtpH4lA #Easter

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

@lenadunham and I are obviously soulmates.

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

“@lenadunham: Sad day. Realized I'm old enough that my go-to April Fools "I'm Pregnant!" is no longer that disturbing #babieshavingbabies”

[VICE @VICE]

NASA's Actually Thinking About Capturing an Asteroid http://t.co/O9Hd3elpQU (via @Motherboard)

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

"Everyone's a dumb whore."

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

@SpaceSham I have!!!

[VICE @VICE]

Exxon Just Flooded an Arkansas Suburb with a River of Oil http://t.co/iT3V4B3nOC (via @Motherboard)

[Wayne Campbell @ABakingPowder]

Were not worthy! Were not worthy! Were scum! We suck!

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

When I die I want all my tweets read at my funeral.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

If you discovered ANY evidence for the existence of God, you would be proclaimed, BY THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY, the greatest genius ever. Go!

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

I just love @neiltyson 's profile photo.

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

I'm quite sure Flying Saucers are handicap accessible. That's why Aliens always descend via ramps rather than stairs.

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

April Fool's day is more fun when you read something that you think is a joke but is actually true.

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

A guy with neck tattoos just hit on me. Oh god plz yes. #funeralhomeprobz

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

Avatar got me. I have officially arrived on the Troy twitter scope. @mamma_cee

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

@SpaceSham told you!!

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

@SpaceSham I've been texting you! No replies.

[Rachel Torres @RaCHELTorrESE]

Are "I'm pregnant" April fools texts too overdone? #justwondering #eyetwitch

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Evolution gets a big thumbs up from me.