Rachel Resnik

Instagram Anti-Influencer. Most positive negative person you will ever meet. The Anti-Influencer Hour @packtheater

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

Yeah, this will fix climate change. When they breed it with a poodle, I want one. #woollydoodle #science #woollymammoth #climatechange #poodles #doodles #trendydogbreeds

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

Hey @Ticketmaster are you going to ever respond to customer service emails or are you just going to continue stealing $ since you are now owned by @LiveNation

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

You know you’ve found true love when you and your boyfriend text back and forth all morning about what kind of food could fix the alkaline level of your cat’s pee. @PrettyLitter #CatsofTwittter #Lovestory

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

It’s a sign she is a vampire

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

What stage of adulthood is not wanting to put your purse on the floor of a restaurant during a meeting and needing to put it on a chair?

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

First world problem—but question: who decided that it was a good idea to replace all Iced coffee with cold brew in all coffee shops this year? Those of us who get diarrhea from everything would like to know. ☕️

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

Shit he ordered the entire @Chewy Disney collection. 🐈‍⬛🤦‍♀️

[Basia🇵🇱 🇺🇸 🐾🐈‍⬛ @MBPCCPCSH]

@RachelResnik @Chewy Go easy on yourself. It's not you. Ted was up during the night and clicked on "Order Now." Check to be sure no additional treats or toys were included.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

So.......What stage of adulthood is tweeting at businesses being mad that they don't know your cat's name even though they sent him a handwritten BIRTHDAY card in the mail?

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

@Chewy His name is Ted and you just sent him a handwritten birthday card.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

@Chewy so, thank you!

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

What stage of adulthood is logging onto your @Chewy account to buy cat food, having it warn you that you already placed the same order recently, only to go into your order history and find that your drunk self ordered cat food at 1:58 AM- which you have no recollection of?

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

@Chewy His name is Ted and you just sent him a handwritten birthday card.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

@JoJoFromJerz Better call Saul. So I guess I better call him.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

My dad’s advice to me as a comedian: “find 3 characters you’re good at and stay away from “the vergina” jokes. #unsolicitedhollywoodadvice

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

Like maybe the pigeons just wanted a green juice or something. Or they’re angry about climate change.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

#NYCmoment: just witnessed a man in NYC trying to have a romantic film moment where he fed a bunch of pigeons some bread. The pigeons wouldn’t eat his shitty bread. They wanted something more substantial or higher quality.

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

The man was very angry. Personally I think he should’ve just been more respective of the pigeon’s dietary preferences. Fucking boomers. #pretentiouspigeon #breadforbirds #birdsarentreal

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

All I want to know while watching @TheUltimatum is what the hell all of their dogs are thinking. Did they swap dogs too? Which dog likes which new couple more?

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

May you all shit green food dye tomorrow. -Proberb #StPatricksDay #greenbagels #greeneggsandham #green #stpattys

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

I know we’re all talking about Batman now, but I’m not over @EncantoMovie

[Rachel Resnik @RachelResnik]

The best part of being on a film shoot in NYC is all the transplants who make fun of how I pronounce things. Go back to your own HARRIBLE home states.