My baby mama opened a time capsule for our 25th anniversary and in it there was love letters I wrote and a tooth of hers I knocked out back in '01. I got a little choked up ngl.
Talking to my oldest son. He said he about to be a paralegal. I don't know Latin. I thought it was a fancy way of saying criminal so I punched him in his mouth. "I told you to stay out them streets!"
He was like "No, I want to be a lawyer someday, pops." I said, "And put people like me behind bars?" I socked him again.
He said, "No a defense lawyer. I wanna keep you out of jail." I was about to hit him with a two piece before I realized what he said. I hugged him for the first time. Proud father moment. I knew I raised that boy right. Now go get a wet rag and wipe this blood off my floor.
(Yes, I'm petty enough to post virtually the same post again because of a small error)
Watching a butterfly land on a woman and she thinks it symbolizes she's entering a new, positive chapter in her life. In reality, it's the spirit of her perverted uncle dropping by for a kiss.
If you guys are lucky I may just post a video of me showing off my nunchaku skills in front of a 7/11. Actually, let's make that the 1000 follower goal.
Imagine if you will, a horror movie. The black guy dies first. Not because the script is racist, but because the killer was creative enough to invent a chainsaw that makes smoke detector beeps when it revs.