Ray Purchase

Actor/Sketch Artist/Parody

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@JAMESGREY72 His lack of morals is legendary. He's the worst thing to appear on a London stage since Dame Kiri's terrible burrito incident.

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@riffwood Not likely my friend, she has an underwear man. I think that's what she said.

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@LeeVelleman @Steven_Toast And if I did, it would be in my self-penned buddy cop series Grace & Favour, starring me as hot-headed Roy Grace.

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@LeeVelleman @Steven_Toast I will NEVER work with Toast again.

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@riffwood don't be fooled, I knew what I was doing. I had him by the balls!

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@Steven_Toast Nice to see you, Toast... to see you... nasty.

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Toast wants to stitch me up, I'll stitch him up!

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If any of you see that scoundrel @Steven_Toast this evening, tell him I've got something nasty for him...

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@Steven_Toast A cheap shot, Toast, a gentleman never golfs in less than twenty degrees as you well know.

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Do a 'retwitter' if you think Steven Toast had a face like a baboon's hairy arse.

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@Steven_Toast There's only one buffoon in that tale Toast - you! You're the buffoon, you bloody buffoon! Ahahahahahaha!

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@davidbdr I haven't heard such blatant abuse of the truth since I read @Steven_Toast 's autobiography

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@Steven_Toast At least I've got a roof over my head Toast, you penniless buffoon!

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@Steven_Toast The Americas, Toast?! You couldn't even spell USA, let alone find it on a map.

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@porksmith I say, do you have a twin brother? I'm having the most terrible trouble with a chap much like yourself.

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@Steven_Toast Your acting reminds me of the antique bureau in my drawing room - entirely wooden.

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@TimDownie1 @Steven_Toast You always were a 'Yes man', Toast. Stick to pantomime, you fiend.

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@Steven_Toast You're a scoundrel, Toast. You'll get your comeuppance.

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@Steven_Toast Toast! Didn't I see you on the news with your meat and two veg on display?

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@steven_toast Why not dry your eyes!