If someone has had a history of an abusive relationship and now they are in a new safe one, their body still reacts like they are in the dangerous one. Too much aggression etc brings you right back to what you thought you healed from. Your brain doesn’t discern between them.
No one cares. Everyone says they do. But slowly they drop away. One by one. Until you’re reminded that you had to be so strong because YOU are the only one you can count on and trust without wavering. Until your body gives out and you can’t even trust yourself.
The pain is horrendous. I’m barely keeping it together at work. It keeps trying to make a vasovagal reaction and I keep fighting it. I don’t have any more FMLA I can take for the month. Doc won’t respond back. I want to lay down and cry.
MRI was clear. They have no idea what’s causing the pain. They are putting me on a steroid pack and sending me back to my other doctors. I’ve never had pain like this before.
Everyone says they are there for you. But being chronically ill puts stress on relationships and people don’t want to deal with you being sick constantly. They don’t want to hear how you’re doing. They just want you to lie and say you’re okay so they can talk about something else
Doc is now thinking it’s actually not a pheochromocytoma and actually just hyperadrenergic pots. Meaning. I’ll just feel like shit forever if that’s the case. And I… don’t get me wrong I want an answer but I want one that can be fixed in some way? Or managed?