Jake

Scrappy, crafty, hard-nosed gym rat. Does the little things & has a lot of heart. High motor. Deceptively athletic. A real locker room guy.

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

#Top5FavoriteThings @babyjooj

1. Calling every second film in a movie franchise “The Squeakquel”

2. These 🗣 emojis ‼️

3. Treating every race of Mario Kart Double Dash like it’s my last

4. Outdoor concerts in the summer

5. TV theme songs that absolutely slap

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@TheGoldenRatio4 I think Brody is actually an ALASKAN! BULL! WORM!

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@SDinwiddie_25 @ShamsCharania Welcome home Spence!

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@alec_fried Don’t get enough Francis Scott Key at Fort McHenry these days

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@alec_fried Fire tweet

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@steve_4gash Shoutout absolute legend Eddie Munson

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@SLAMonline Paul George?

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@matty_cake They’re hiring bofa?

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@matty_cake But it cost a thousand dollars cause the pattern is so complicated!!!

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@FieldYates

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@FieldYates

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

#Top5FavoriteThings @babyjooj ‼️

1. Corgi butts
2. Mike Breen “BANGGGGG”s
3. Rapping Ludacris’ verse on “Yeah” word-for-word
4. Texting the homies “All Rise” whenever Aaron Judge hits a homer
5. Getting my money’s worth at all-you-can-eat sushi

🗣#GetInvolved

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@Kofie JR Smith in NBA 2K8 is the greatest athlete of all time (besides Pablo Sanchez)

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@beepboop_bot That was legitness

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@WorldWideWob Listen to @RyanRuocco's call - it lines up perfectly to describe that takedown

[Jake @RealJakeAlpert]

@BillSimmons Spo: "What, you want me to fucking fight you??"

UD, point toward Warriors bench: "Show them. We not your fuckin enemy. We not your fuckin enemy. Ima beat your ass. Ima beat your ass. Ima beat your ass. Ima beat your ass."