Joe Durst

General contractor. Single Dad. Fisherman.

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Everyone keeps asking for pics of my hammer. I opened up a little hammer shed for folks. Ill be there from time to time. But i got a damn job and bills to pay. So I aint sittin my ass in there too much. Go to my hammer shed: https://t.co/sHH3829f18

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Went out to fix a woman's bathroom sink today.

I've seen some shit in 20-some years of construction, but nothing quite prepared me for what was sitting on her vanity.

I wrote about it tonight.

"Your Dildo Had Only One Job."

Read it here: https://t.co/J1LvsQvnpR

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Been getting a few new faces around here lately, so I reckon I oughta remind y'all of something.

Yeah, I'm a deck contractor. Yeah, I write stories.

And yeah, folks are still askin for my worn underwear.

Don't ask me how the hell that became part of my business plan. I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
https://t.co/fA6gFkpay9

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@ChrisPoork55749 Thanks buddy

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Monday boredom. Might be in the hammer shed for a bit while Im packing up some underwear orders. https://t.co/krPp3kj87S

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Tucker and I just finished dinner. Kid's disappeared into his room, and I'm gonna be back out in the shed at some point tonight catching up on construction invoices.

Nothing like working all damn day just to come home and do more paperwork.

Got my coffee, some peace and quiet, and a few things to keep me entertained later.

And for you curious bastards, you can find my backyard shed right on my homepage.

https://t.co/1643OCPEU2

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@RobertWagnsta my waist is 35

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

About to grab a shower. Just took these off. https://t.co/iQHb01BKjZ

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

The Hammer Shed is Open for about an hour right now. https://t.co/Z50S0X2Mek

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@mudgehere2014 Thanks buddy

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Saturday morning. Coffee's hot, pants are optional, and I've already got a few orders to get ready.

Anybody else need a little something from my underwear drawer? https://t.co/66tivK49d6

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@mudgehere2014 without the strawberries. Leave those bastards out.

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Between selling my drawers, mailing em out, and making a couple new Thanksgiving shirts today, I got one question left.

Who the hell wants stuffed?

https://t.co/yf3C8JjQqd

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@mudgehere2014 I never had that problem with Tucker at grocery stores. I gave him a job. He was the "cart police" His job was to direct traffic from inside the cart. He just wasnt allowed to say anything outloud. So we would be going aisle by aisle and his hands would be waving.

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@mudgehere2014 He was a little asshole that day. He never did it again though

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@mudgehere2014 Thanks. I like that one also

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Wear one of my shirts as you sniff my underwear you just bought. View them all: https://t.co/nSaU3Lh3Zl

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

First day off from building decks for the winter, and all I wanted was a goddamn Blizzard.

Instead, I spent 20 minutes watching two little bastards run their parents ragged.

Got me thinking about raising Tucker and the day I carried his screaming ass out of an amusement park.

Wrote about it here:
https://t.co/aQsMzyIndK

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Now that I've wrapped up builds for the winter - getting up at 830am instead of 5am has me feelin pretty damn good about myself. Here it is almost 10am and Im just now gettin in the shower.

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

@Baxtapump I write about it all the time over at Rough Edges. Poke around and read about it: https://t.co/Ye7y4HPIjf

[Joe Durst @RealJoeDurst]

Sitting on the front steps on a Tuesday afternoon, drinking coffee and wondering how in the hell I went from building decks for a living to selling my underwear on the internet and writing books.

Life sure took a weird goddamn turn somewhere.
https://t.co/V4WjzTJqoC