Seanithan

Do people actually read these? I'm Sean. I have a wife. I have some kids. That's it.

Interrogate de semitis antiquis, quae sit via bona, et ambulate in ea

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

Yeah, I had to have that argument with my kids' teacher. She wasn't holding them to the standards that I thought they should be, and when I was talking to her about it, I was like, "Ok, are you the parent or the teacher?" She said, "Babe, this is getting ridiculous." She threatened to call the principal. I told her to go ahead. Then when my phone rang, I gave her what for.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

It's important to know that enforcement was done, and I ultimately won the exchange, but the beginning of the exchange was too funny not to share:

Me: "1.83, get your plate and go put it in the sink."
1.83: *points at me* "No; Dada."

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@Lex_Ludendi @Maltymaldy What else should it be?

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@Maltymaldy @Lex_Ludendi I like one half of that better than the other.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

It wasn't a lot for us: I spent a grand total of $100 on rings. My MIL found my wife a dress for $100, we had the wedding in a gazebo at my grandparents' house, everyone involved refused to be paid, the church fellowship hall that we had the reception at just so happened to be the church my wife's grandfather pastored at the time, and the lady who baked our cake asked, quote, "Hey, would y'all mind if I baked your cake as a wedding gift?" I think more money was spent on food than on the actual wedding.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@Maltymaldy @Lex_Ludendi I don't even know what intracourse means.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@PreacH0921 @yuggs513 Preach be preaching

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@troywojick @nathancoxey It was in his commentary on Hosea, I believe, but that would've been hilarious.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@SongEternal You looked up smacks, cracklin' oat bran, my cookies, or oreo-os?

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

That's exactly what so many miss about the line "as the body without the spirit is dead..." that is, "In the same manner that that body without the spirit is dead..." in what way is the body dead without the spirit: the spirit is the animating force of the body. Just so with faith and works.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@crochet_mom314 I will assume they mean the referent slams their whole upper body down toward their food with each bite

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@Gallo_Woodworks Yes it is: I'm married.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

The flavor isn't too far off. Of course, smacks are sweeter and I don't puff the oats, but it's not too dissimilar. Speaking of snacks that taste like cereals, I invented an oatmeal cookie recipe (that I've since lost and have to recreate one day) that tastes exactly like the best cereal ever: cracklin' oat bran.

Ok, oreo-os might be the real best cereal, but that's beside the point.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

I don't do it often, but I like to mix oats with a little bit of oil and honey (sometimes adding thin sliced almonds) and bake it until it's crunchy, then I break it up into chunks and mix in some craisins. That's my preferred snack like that: you can just eat it or pour milk over it and have it like cereal.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@SongEternal Swap out the banana for apricot for me.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@SongEternal Same price.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

I will always refer to myself as a wage slave for the duration of the time that another man is providing for my family. Until the day that I'm actually able to be the one to provide for my family instead of relying on another man to do it for me, I'm going to look at myself in the mirror and say, "You suck! You're such a bad provider that you have to rely on another man to do it instead of doing it yourself. You're a pathetic wage slave. Are you going to start actually providing for your family or are you going to keep doing another man's work and relying on HIM to feed your family?"

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@crogers_htown @justalexoki Oh, I love Chipotle, but if I want something to take me on a joyride, it usually won't do it for me. My method absolutely opens the floodgates of heaven.

[Seanithan @RealSeanithan]

@crogers_htown @justalexoki Chipotle? My go-to is Arby's, then I OD on magnesium and ascorbic acid. Trust me.