women are hitting 30 unmarried because the men they want are not ready and the men who are ready are not who they want.
this generation of women is building, healing, and raising their standards all at once, and they are doing it while watching men enjoy the benefits of a dating culture that requires nothing from them.
commitment is not urgent for men when situationships exist, when intimacy is accessible without accountability, when no family member is pulling them aside at christmas asking why they are not married yet.
so women are arriving at 30 accomplished and emotionally prepared, looking around and finding that the market they prepared for is not prepared for them.
the men are not fully villains in this story though. a lot of them are simply lost. they are walking around with emotional blueprints that do not work anymore, raised on a version of masculinity that said be strong, provide, and never show weakness.
therapy is still a punchline in a lot of male spaces. vulnerability is still being mocked in group chats. so the men who genuinely want love are often reaching for it with tools that were never built for the job.
the ones who are doing the work are out there, but they are quiet and outnumbered by the ones who are still comfortable in half-commitments that ask nothing of them.
what is sitting underneath all of it is a generation that is lonelier than it lets on.
women are posting independence and privately grieving the love they want but cannot seem to find.
men are performing freedom while avoiding the depth that real partnership requires. social media is making solo life look aspirational.
therapy is making everyone hyperaware of what they deserve without always teaching them how to stay through the discomfort of being known.
the result is two groups of people wanting the same thing, moving in the same circles, and still somehow missing each other every single time.
Iโm single cause I wanna be in a healthy relationship. A completely honest relationship without all the games, or the lying & cheating. I wanna have fun with the person Iโm with. Go on trips, vacations & cute dates ect, but nobody on what Iโm on.
I've taught European history for 30 years. Americans have always asked me how the Holocaust was possible, how Germans could have enabled a madman reveling in mass murder to carry out his plans. Now we can see in real time how this is enabled; now we have front-row seats.