Reckless Driver

Bad muthafucka, goddamned sexual TIErannosaurus, and benevolent supercomputer.

[Steve Dutzy @SteveDutzy]

I remember when Animal Crossing came out on GameCube I wished I could just stay home and play it all day. Well it took 18 years, but my wish has finally come true. Never give up on your dreams, kids.

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

... Oh, that's our office cat. Her name is Corona and she likes nice pets.

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

Me (apparently older than I realized), trying to blurb The Lost Boys to some young coworker when I thought everyone just knew what it was: "Uh, these kids go to visit their grandpa over the summer and fight vampires...?"

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

I just mistyped "Strangelands" as "Stranglenads" and now I have this weird psychosomatic pain... and the name of my new punk band.

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

"Family Size", lol. Good one, Oreo.

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

Note to self: Telling the vegan kid your venison meat stick is just Bambi and not Rudolph doesn't help...

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

I was gonna wish @GRRMspeaking a happy birthday but I have a complex new birthday wish for someone else instead 😏

[Matt Fernandez @FattMernandez]

Freedom of speech isn't freedom from repercussions. That's why everyone who works retail doesn't tell you to go fuck yourself.

[Reckless Driver @RecklessDriver]

Guessing there are steps to eating Gardetto's properly:
1) Only eat if no Special Request Rye Chips bags available
2) Eat pieces one at a time
3) Start with the rye chips
4) Stop after the rye chips
5) Say nothing but leave the bag for some idiot (probably me) to "enjoy" later

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

There's nothing left to say. Just vote them out.