Tom Smith

I like to write and sing- particularly about Jesus.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@ChrchCurmudgeon I feel like you put an inordinate amount of time each day into these puns. Like you stay for hours at a time hunched over a writer's desk under a dim lamp, saying to yourself, "What else does 'taliban' sound like?" Anyway, keep up the good work. You make me laugh.

[SEC Football News @SECfootball]

WATCH: Viral Mississippi State fan is back in Omaha with hilarious update on wife's boyfriend's prosthetic leg
https://t.co/2RuDwqNNhq

[Kenneth Shelton @KennethWShelton]

@johnbcrist My wife & youngest daughter are 500 miles from home with my other daughter in the hospital. They go to Chik-fil-a to get lunch. The manager asks why they are so far from home. After leaning the situation, he takes the order, prays with them & then buys their meal. #MyVoteChikfila

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@AtlantaFalcons Ha-ha! #WhoDat

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

@allahpundit Statistically the double-UVA choke would be much more unlikely but 28-3 is the GOAT of all sports chokes IMO.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@rodneygriffin @greatervision @geraldwolfe1 @chris_allman @Jonepley The word 'fit' seems like an....optimistic word choice here. 😉

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@JesseKellyDC That wasn't too bad of a poem. I mean, it wasn't good either, but it's better than bad at least.

[Ari Meirov @MySportsUpdate]

Even Madden refs call it a pass interference. 😭 (via @RoFlo) https://t.co/hVd1PJUpxM

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@iowahawkblog The Hay Hauling Pole Saw

[David Regier @davidpaulregier]

When you get a building full of people singing together, it makes a different statement than an amplified band at the front.

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and then asked it to write a Hallmark Christmas movie of its own. Here is the first page.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@amylutz4 Anytime you ask someone else if you should get a dog they'll almost always say yes. We're not paying for the welfare of the dog and don't care if you can afford it. Having said that, I voted that you should definitely get the dog.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@ESPN951TheFan Bama
MSU
KY
Mizzou
Aub 38-14

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@BackRowBaptist Hey man, the joke is funny. Good job. However, the pic of empty wrappers is kind of a let down. I searched the image hard for some indication of tasty morsels, but alas, i see nothing but a film of grease. Next time take the pic, then eat. #forfuturereference #makesthejokepop

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@21haley_smith @jladner1978 I think a lot of people mistake Gen Z for millennials. It's you guys giving us a bad name. 😉

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@iowahawkblog I don't get this Kinkade guy's fetish with flooding houses. Every painting he does has a house in an extreme flood zone. One rain and you're looking at major water damage. I just hope he painted them home insurance too.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@JesseKellyDC I'm in. I'm one of your 10. Not only am I a fantasy football veteran, but I too subscribe to the #keto lifestyle. We could play fantasy football together and posts pics of things we like to eat on our diet as we crush the plebians playing with us.

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@ChrchCurmudgeon Sir, your church puns and silly tweets are fine and good for a ha-ha now and then, but this....this is a step too far. #blasphemy #atacoisataco #asandwichisasandwich

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@ClaytonTLamb My only question is, Who builds a wood frame shopping mall?

[Tom Smith @Redhilliansings]

@JamesHasson20 Thank you Mr. Hasson. That was a most interesting side-trek I just made. Top notch stuff. #learnedsomething