SVU Missing Episodes

Especially heinous parody. fakelawandorder at gmail

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

@NekoKatkune MUNCH: WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING MOUTHBREATHERS TAGGED MY PHOTOS OF JFK'S DEATH WITH "#GENDERFEELS"?

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

@Uuneya *Benson and Stabler in the alley behind the venue, drunk and covered in blood.*

STABLER: So...fuck the police?

BENSON:...no snitching.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

ICE-T: They delayed Dream Daddy.

STABLER: Maybe they realized they...left a Daddy behind.

ICE-T: What?

STABLER: I'm okay. I'll be okay.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

ICE-T: Your girlfriend threw a grenade at a BitCoin meet up

MUNCH: Aw jeez

ICE-T: Two kids lost their daddies

SHANLEY: That's our word

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

@IrisKalmia @vedia_lupae ICE-T: We all get bad days, kid. One time, this guy told me that Smash is a party game, and I'm-

BENSON: ...still on unpaid leave, go home.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

@combat_bard ICE-T: Let's go, punk!

BENSON: No.

ICE-T: It's my duty, Liv. I serve and protecc.

BENSON: Don't.

ICE-T: But I also attacc!

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

WILL: Hey Chapo fans. Our guest is Det. Munch from SVU.

MATT: Can you invoke spousal privilege on a waifu?

MUNCH: If you only have one.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

CRAGEN: How's the interrogation?

BENSON:...not great.

ICE-T: So I become a communist, I get a fursona?

CHELSEA MANNING: Absolutely =^_^=

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

ICE-T: 3am in Central Park? You were playing Pokemon Go.

PERP: No! I swear, I killed her!

ICE-T: I bet you've got like 100 Drowzees.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

*Ice-T and Benson are at MOMA.*

ICE-T: Like Trent Renzor said. "Everyone I know–"

BENSON: No. Don’t.

ICE-T: “goes Ai Weiwei in the end."

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

BENSON: Okay, so here's what we know about our perp--he mains Dhalsim.

*stunned silence, ROLLINS cries*

BENSON: We're calling in the Feds.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

ICE-T: I'm gonna ask you one more time. Did you steal this OC?

*silence*

ICE-T: Tough talk. Let's see if the DA thinks you "gotta go fast"

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

BENSON: They’re called “cuckservatives”.

ICE-T: Haha nah.

BENSON: Fin, get back here.

ICE-T: Look both ways, aim for the head. I’m out.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

Donald Trump: I’m telling you, I’m *very* well endowed.

BENSON: Suspect #4, can you please, for the last time, go back against the wall?

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

BENSON: We can’t all move to Canada if Trump wins. Someone has to stay & do the laws.

ICE-T: Liv, laws are a scam. We’ve always known.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

*Neil DeGrasse Tyson looks over the roof at body in the street*

NDT: NOW WHO’S FLAT, MOTHERFUCKER?!!!!!

ICE-T: Duuuuuuuuuuuude.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

BENSON: What do we know about the intersectional killer?

ICE-T: Well oppression is—

DET: He last struck on 3rd and Adams.

ICE-T: Oh.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

BILL NYE: He couldn’t have done this.

ICE-T: Why? Because he wasn’t capable of that kind of blunt trauma?

BILL NYE: No. I did it.

[SVU Missing Episodes @RejectedSVU]

JIM LAHEY: Well, Randy Bo-Bandy, it’s come to this.

RANDY JOHNSON: I’m not who you think.

LAHEY: So? This isn’t even my show.

*shoots*