Reptile Facts

Follow for astonishing facts about our beautiful, scaly friends.

[Italian Elon (Parody, Italy is Fake) @DeepFriedTrash]

I need a $8 (dollare americano) for to make a free speech! I buy PayPal with the apartheid a-blood money, bellisimo!

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@Fydsy 2020 Threat Level Increased

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

Did you know that when times get tough, alligators will sometimes kill their young rather than feeding them? Nature is a cruel mistress.

https://t.co/9yhT7WQEvK

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@commentiquette They're both fucked. F U C K E D

[The Crusty Crackpot Podcast @CrustyCrackpot]

Shoutout to the people of #Bolivia for resisting the forces of US imperialism, defeating an illegal coup attempt, and democratically electing a leftist government

I don't mean to be political or anything, but @elonmusk can literally suck my shit and die in an electric car crash

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

People often ask me, do reptiles enjoy music? I always tell them the same thing: This video of Joe Biden trying to win the Latino vote in Florida by playing Despacito on his phone speaks for itself. Follow for more #ReptileFacts!

#SmellOurChildren #JoeWhatTheFuckManSeriously

[Washington Examiner @dcexaminer]

.@JoeBiden steps out and starts playing Despacito from his phone.

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@kexical_ Great question! Snakes typically shed their skin 2-4 times a year in a process called "moulting."

Conversely, Dick Cheney uses his political clout to secure a new heart transplant 3-4 times a year, or whenever he happens upon an unattended orphan.

Follow for more #ReptileFacts!

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

This little guy is Liolaemus Tenuis, endemic to Chile!

Today marks the 47th anniversary of the death of Chilean President Salvador Allende. He was killed in a CIA coup in 1973 and replaced by a military dictatorship that murdered thousands.

Follow for more neat #ReptileFacts!

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@drunkpepe_afc I don't mean to alarm you, but you should maybe check your home for heating lamps, basking rocks, and illegal oil contracts. Just a suggestion!

#ReptileFacts #TFWYouFindOilContractsUnderTheBaskingRock

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

Dick Cheney used 9/11 as an excuse to invade #Iraq on false information and make $39.5 billion for KBR, a subsidiary of his oil company Halliburton.

Cheney secured KBR an illegal $7 billion "no-bid" oil contract weeks BEFORE the US invasion.

Follow for more neat #ReptileFacts!

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@upulie Pfft, sure.

If the moon landing is so "real," why won't any of my family return my phone calls?

#WakeUpSheeple #ISaidIWasSorryLauraComeOn

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@davidicke WHO, more like WHY, am I right David?

Seriously though the reason is the prevention of deadly pandemics spreading across the globe, killing millions, crippling the global economy, and widening the gap between the rich and the poor.

#LizardsAgainstWHO #ComeOnDudeJustWearTheMask

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@aalien Спасибо, Дэвид! Надеюсь, вы будете следить за другими #ReptileFacts :-)

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

Not to be confused with the satanic lizards running the government.

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

The stunning Satanic leaf-tailed gecko of Madagascar (actual name!) is perfectly camouflaged like a dead leaf to avoid detection.

#lizard #amazingnature

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@GOP @realDonaldTrump The violence is fuelled by a bunch of 6-foot monitor lizards like Donald Trump all hopped up on adrenochrome tbh, running around pretending to be human while incubating eggs, shedding skin, and grabbing pussies.

And by pussies, I mean Democrats.

#ReptileFacts #Whatever2020

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@commentiquette Wow, cool, another game to distract us from the stark reality of existence. Thanks a lot, Big Daddy Adrenochrome, for helping to solidify the stranglehold the reptilian oligarchs have on our dwindling freedoms.

#ReptileFacts #LayMyEggsHillary #LuvUErik

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@GabriellVictor1 Oh, my bad, here goes:

"The British Royal Family are gigantic, humanoid reptiles ruling over the common people with advanced technology and psychic warfare tactics the likes of which we have never seen, tremble in fear at their Becoming"

#ReptileFacts #AndrewsABitDodgyTbh

[Reptile Facts @ReptileFacts]

@crampell This proves nothing.

It was a very warm winter in DC when Obama was elected, and he had ample time to bask and feed before tackling economic issues.

Trump has been run off of his tiny feet just keeping his blood warm and eating grubs and McDonalds, he's trying.

#ReptileFacts