Richard James

Bristol based Stand Up comedian. Twitter name is more ironic than factual. Did a long walk #SouthWestCoastLaugh

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

My New Year's Resolution will be to stop ruining people's fun.

Unrelated to that, please don't forget the clocks go back an hour tonight.

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@NMackz @Tweet_Dec @girlonthenet What Witchcraft is this

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@whoelsebutalf You bastard

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

I'm a bit behind the news as had a busy day, but I just think it's incredible that Charles Darwin's stolen notebooks got returned.

Personally I'd hate people to see in my notebooks but it's great to see his ideas taking shape. Really fascinating.
#Darwin #DarwinNotebook

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

With the news that microplastics are now being found in the human bloodstream, it is important to remember that when disposing of a body, an ethical killer should always put bodies in the mixed plastics bin.

#Reduce #Reuse #Redrum

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

Serious question; with the current inflation, at what price for diesel fuel, would it become more economical to hire Vin Diesel to give me a piggy-back to work?

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@IBLaughing @CharlieDinkin Thanks Ian (unless you are asking me to recommend someone)

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

News reporting due to inflation, Kit Kats and Condoms going up in price. Leading to the new marketing slogan, 'Have a Wank, don't have a Kit Kat.'

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@JenksOliver @SammyBoyMichael Thanks bud, I'm ringing up my boss now.

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

Got my first bird of prey in the year 2000. He was my Millenium Falcon

#BadPuns

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@anewthought @BenThurston The Think It's Owl Over

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@Ryanair 'Where we land them is another question'

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@anewthought Kes 2000 AD

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@piefacefella Scream loudly at night and eat from the bins is a start.

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@TomGloverComedy You're lucky. I was at a gig where you had to cup your hands for the toilet water.

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

Gone to a gym on a Sunday and it was totally empty for a while. Got to live my apocalyptic dream of being totally alone in a nuclear bunker that was built for more people, but they didn't make it.

That's a normal dream right?!

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@SarahBreese I accidentally sang the last part to the tune of 'that's amore'

[Richard James @RichHAHAhard]

@IBLaughing @calumofstewart Never gonna let that go are you