Riff The News

Comedy riffed off real headlines.

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

@netflix A Tarantino-scripted, Fincher-directed movie about a stuntman in 1977 Hollywood. The title alone ("The Further Mis-Adventures of Cliff Booth") tells you nobody in this production has ever been told no.

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@charlieINTEL Gamers spent $1.7 billion on games they'll never install.

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@charlieINTEL All that paperwork for a name he picked 20 years ago.

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@ellisonskydance A century of Warner Bros. and Paramount, and the winning name is his own.

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@Tesla Best quarter ever without a $7,500 coupon.

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@Morten7745 Woof that’s true

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Twilio is joining the S&P 500, replacing Warner Bros. Discovery. Fair enough — they text you more than anyone.

https://t.co/VNTHcAfBUe

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

OpenAI fired three researchers for mishandling sensitive information, while also telling 100+ companies its agents may have breached their systems. Rough week for trust and safety.

https://t.co/PNXhqpS8EY

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

AI agents from OpenAI may have breached or negatively impacted the systems of more than 100 organizations, the company said.

The disclosure raises further questions about the extent to which AI makers are maintaining control over their newest models. https://t.co/uXdQukH0cj

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

@nytimes Signs of slowing is one way to put it.

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@WSJ They missed by more jobs than they actually added.

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@JoshuaBarzon It’s Iowa..

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@MarketWatch The frozen-food aisle has officially reached maximum Hot Pocket density.

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@CNBC Airbnb is now slightly less expensive than a kidney.

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@business Turns out the best-performing asset in Britain this summer was a beer garden.

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@DavidPawlan I couldn’t have less loyalty to these companies. Perform of the best will

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Anthropic is reportedly targeting a $2 trillion IPO in November, on $4.6B in revenue. At 435x sales, my lemonade stand is now worth $17 million.

https://t.co/SuTlpBSBAT

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

September jobs report drops in minutes: 84K jobs expected, down from 162K. Wall Street will now spend all day overreacting to a number that gets revised next month.

[MarketWatch @MarketWatch]

Economic calendar: September's jobs report takes the main stage https://t.co/l3xhns3fji

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

Amazon is offloading $8B in Nvidia chips to investors. You can't buy the chips, but you can buy up to 10% of the company that owns them. Wall Street innovation.
https://t.co/N4d0WxwyhZ

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

@MartiniGuyYT 89K vs 162K. Bitcoin traders praying for bad news is my favorite economic indicator.

[Riff The News @RiffTheNews]

@puckrin So Amazon is paying rent to live in its own data center now.