Riley

a real weirdo

[Riley @RileyMill]

My parents cut down a huge bush and found the 2,6 that i definitely hid when I was 16 and couldn’t find

[Riley @RileyMill]

No one warns you about how annoying people who like fish are when you tell them that you don’t like fish

[Riley @RileyMill]

sorry but the shower cap stays ON during shower sex.

[U.S. FDA @FDA]

Today, FDA approved the first COVID-19 vaccine for the prevention of #COVID19 disease in individuals 16 years of age and older. https://t.co/iOqsxXV1fj

[Riley @RileyMill]

Retired and unbothered

[tate @50FirstTates]

i pour a little olive oil on my italian friends every now and then to make sure they grow up big and strong like watering a plant

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

every few years they try to tell us what part of the boob is hottest to show

[kordell @lledrok]

phineas and ferb would’ve handled covid in 2 episodes max

[Riley @RileyMill]

Spencer Reid running everywhere I’m going

[Riley @RileyMill]

I just be @ the beach😌

[Riley @RileyMill]

IPA drinking bf, sour drinking gf

[Portland Fire & Rescue @PDXFire]

In 2017, the Eagle Creek fire was started with fireworks and burned for 3 months and destroyed 50,000 acres. We can't afford that kind of devastation again. PLEASE do NOT play with fireworks in any natural area. Our very existence depends on it.

[Riley @RileyMill]

Singing walking on a dream at work while everyone yells at me

[Riley @RileyMill]

@whattheheatherr This is funny

[Riley @RileyMill]

@LSammy22 Me with a CHILD? Terrifying

[Riley @RileyMill]

@peaeches My mommy bought it for me so we could match, are you trying to break Marla’s heart?? What am I to do, say no?

[Riley @RileyMill]

@peaeches I have a transformer decal on my car ):

[Riley @RileyMill]

A conversation I had over the weekend-
“Play some @GretaVanFleet”
“Isn’t that the young Swedish environmental activist”

[Riley @RileyMill]

the people saying you’ll get bacterial pneumonia from wearing a mask are the same people who get chlamydia from not wearing condoms

[Riley @RileyMill]

https://t.co/nDhZQNkpJw craving some happi summer time vibez