Riva Riley

fish biology and stand up comedy

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@AskAboutAnimals @UofMaryland @AnimBehSociety Basically 😂 we are taking time to mourn the loss of the Corydoras name. Luckily the lineages remain intact At this point

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

My brilliant student Munir graduated from @UofMaryland this May and just did a brilliant job at his first conference talk @AnimBehSociety #abs2024

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

I had a 13th birthday party for my turtle (#welladjusted) and my friend made this EPIC #turtle #cake. Absolutely floored #redearedslider #tmnt #joy

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

This show is going to be awesome! #comedy #dmv

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@medeasdragons Same with my body

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

I just watched Blue struggle to decide whether to attack my foot or lick his own butthole and butthole won out by a hair. He rewarded himself with a nap #cats

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

‘You and your dad watch that goofy show about the drug lord’ - my mom, who has never seen an episode of #BreakingBad and may have some misconceptions #ExplainAPlotBadly #prestigeTV

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

It’s @WorldTurtleDay and no one told me?!? I’ve had no time to prepare! I hope Max forgives me #redearedslider #perfect #turtle #TurtleDay

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

People are upset that Judge Jackson didn’t define “woman.” I promise you do not want the government defining terms that impact you. Remember when they defined “person” and black people weren’t included and then years later they defined “person” again and corporations were?

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@JacquelineFWebb Sperm drinking in female #corydoras catfish! It’s absolutely bonkers and has some interesting consequences, like all eggs in a given clutch are full siblings

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@HWrightComedy Richard Gere

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

My turtle casually superhero poses all day long, not to brag #turtle #superhero #cute #redearedslider #funnyanimals

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

In today’ episode of the joys of cat ownership, Blue asked to be let under the covers, snuggled with me for five minutes, and then puked in my bed #cats #why #surprise #laundry

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@JasonFliegel It was preordained to be so 😂

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@GrumpyNColdinSD Okay so here’s where things get insane: my fish copulate through sperm drinking. So really they only ever get to 3rd base 😂

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

#Fish #biologist problems: the good news is my fish are happy and healthy. The bad news is they won't stop spawning long enough for me to do my experiment about platonic social behavior. I got 99 problems and fish horniness is one #corydoras #scientist #relentless #aquarium

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

My phone has classified my turtle as a pufferfish and I am just tickled #fail #turtle #notafish #funny #littlethings

[NICE Comedy @NiceComedyEvent]

Book your ticket now!

Don't be a turkey and miss out on some incredible comics in our Thanksgiving show!

Thurs 25th Nov, zoom, 8pm: @RivaJRiley
@funnycatdawo @nabzpat @GemBarryComedy @thecolleencg @OnceAndFutureSK @CDelatori
https://t.co/qlIFA33EiX

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

@AarthiD Hey hey! I am no longer abroad, I’m based in Maryland (DC area) for the time being! How’s it going?

[Riva Riley @RivaJRiley]

On the plane to Boston for the first time in 8 years! So excited to be performing @BosComedyFest