R.m.T.

Love my wife , golf, and THE Ohio State Buckeyes.

[Texas 🇺🇸 @MustangMan_TX]

POST: “Came home to this today. I only own the dog." 😂❤️

[R.m.T. @Rmtodd14]

Vinegar and salt

[Dr Money Trees @DrMoneyTrees]

Ketchup isn’t an option, what are you putting on your fries?

[R.m.T. @Rmtodd14]

Feeling really bad for that recruit 😕

[Military Support @MilitaryCooI]

Can anyone explain what’s about to happen?

[Nitrous Oxide 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇺🇦 Babysitting TFG @IamVyv]

This lady sounds like fun.👍😉

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3AM, a bit loaded, I headed home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and 'cuckooed' three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I 'cuckooed' another NINE times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him, "Midnight."

He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said, "But we need a new clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh, shit.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

[OutdoorsWI @outdoorswi1]

This man knows his shit

[Texas 🇺🇸 @MustangMan_TX]

“Honey we don’t need a tree trimmer! I’ve got my own chainsaw! I’ll be right back!”

[Johnny Cadillac @lippyent]

Only some will get it! Hmm 🤔 ?¿

[Irish Ranger (Sevvy) @VeteranIrish]

Ordering a Pizza in 2024

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Boots Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

Welcome to the future

😉👍🏻😁😁😁

[R.m.T. @Rmtodd14]

Guess trump should not have told Republicans to kill the border deal

[ALIPAC @ALIPAC]

We Are All In Danger from Democrats & illegal invaders: Biden & Harris Democrats are showing illegals they can commit felony crimes & be released upon the US public again without deportation, bail, justice, or consequences!

[💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫 @herotimeszero]

Dear Insurrection Deniers,

You STILL claim it wasn’t an insurrection. That it was just an unarmed protest. No one was overthrowing the government. It was practically a peaceful tour.

Nope. No. Hell no.

When you say they were unarmed, you mean firearms. That’s interesting coming from the people who preach, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Suddenly, you changed your story. Now you’re saying since no one had a gun, it must’ve been peaceful. So you’re admitting, IT’S THE GUNS.

In this case, they used flags to pound the police, threw fire extinguishers at their heads and bear sprayed them, while breaking window and screaming death to Mike Pence. If that was a tour…Worst. Tour. Ever.

Now about overthrowing the government. In most violent crimes, motive and intent are key. What was the motive of the people who smashed their way in?
To hold hands and sing Kumbaya? No.

The intent was to STOP the certification of electoral votes. To STOP my vote. STOP everyone’s vote. By stopping the certification, you are not allowing Biden to be President.

Insurrection - noun : an act or instance of revolting against civil authority or an established government.

The people choose Biden as President. The people established the government. You revolted against the established government. That is classic insurrection.

It doesn’t matter if you didn’t succeed. If someone tries to commit murder but misses, it’s still attempted murder.

That’s the way the law works in this country. If you don’t agree, give Russia or Iran a try. The laws are slightly different there.

#ProudBlue #DemVoice1 #Fresh #DemsUnited

[R.m.T. @Rmtodd14]

You might look at who else had ties ,the orange wanna be Jesus trump !! Why don't read a little instead of listening to one person

[Mrs. S. @hshLauraJ]

Couple treated for minor injuries, after their SmartCar hit a Squirrel, who refused treatment.