oldgayman

im a 4´11, single dad, age 86, with a intense passion/ fetish of scratching the wax off of apples i buy from the super market. And i like red.

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

Tweeter? I hardly know her!

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

Hey guys! Just got out of my coma! I was just told by my nurse that I am a “dilf”? I asked my roommie for the definition, but all I got out of him was what the nurse called his “last exhale”. So I guess we’ll never know what “the dilf” is.

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

Went do a wax museum yesterday. The hair on wax-Jack sparrow’s head looked a little off so I pulled out my trusty hair dryer. The staff explained to me how I’m no longer welcome there.

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

If you don’t like someone, instead of saying break a leg, say “I hope you leg stays fully intact” and then proceed to screech at the top of your lungs before running away at a ninety degree angle with your arms straight back.

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

I dated a 96 year old who shares my Apple-wax fetish and then guess what. He told me we’d be together forever and then posted on his IG story, minutes before deceasing “Carl , we’re done” I told him to chill which seems insensitive given his body was already cold. Cant win em all

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

@AmexCanada @arnettwill Gob??

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

@_______Facebook Keep up the great work!

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

@geostylegeo @_______Facebook

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

@_______Facebook @MissHardy93 My thoughts exactly

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

@_______Facebook How can I enter?

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

hey guys, just got home from my jog. Im very proud of my time, 0.6k in 46 minutes! Anyways, im looking for good recipes for some apple-squash quiche. let mw know! #lol #wap (wanting a pie) #lol #imprettyfunny

[oldgayman @RobinGr92808936]

i need some advice guys, my cat just deceased and is now being kept in the microwave, but i need to make popcorn. what do i do? #thestrugleisreal #covidtimesaretough #coronadidthis #notmyfault #sos #eergency